tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11064602651413674732024-03-13T13:38:04.103-04:00Life in the BalconySometimes I like to write about things I've seen...Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-45401715303176347512023-12-12T10:16:00.005-05:002023-12-12T10:16:58.328-05:00Solvitur Ambulando<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIgAU5t7jO7tvepvpoP3oWtPZmlIocYsRTwwCwWrZRFKP8b4tPq7Aa2iKTP9O_FupmUkZkKgxidXuzlZtQRHTmOCy6lnJk3miJ6nUiSZyNI5Zz54sqtuJ09Uv8HwS3K3qFHwKnx3WKOgB4LJkgMEZjSz06Zear-gSmUC46BHMIdu4IWRj-g3Crt-VawUk/s1500/Record%20Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1500" height="119" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIgAU5t7jO7tvepvpoP3oWtPZmlIocYsRTwwCwWrZRFKP8b4tPq7Aa2iKTP9O_FupmUkZkKgxidXuzlZtQRHTmOCy6lnJk3miJ6nUiSZyNI5Zz54sqtuJ09Uv8HwS3K3qFHwKnx3WKOgB4LJkgMEZjSz06Zear-gSmUC46BHMIdu4IWRj-g3Crt-VawUk/w119-h119/Record%20Cover.jpg" width="119" /></a></div><br />In January of 2022, I made the declaration (only in my head)
that this would be the “Year of Maryann.” I was going to write, get healthy, be
happy. Big plans, for sure.<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">
<span style="background: white;">That year turned into one of the worst I’ve ever
endured. I lost several friends, a job I loved and hoped to retire from some
time in the future, two beloved cats, and, in August, my mother.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">I was depressed, although I didn’t know how deeply
until I was mostly on the other side of it. I’d curl up on the bed or in my
chair in the TV room, rewatch as many episodes of <i>The Great Pottery
Throw Down</i> as I could fit in, and putter around until I finally found a new
job in mid-November.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">I never completely gave in to the darkness,
though. I knew somewhere deep inside that I had to fake it until I could make
it true again. So, I faked it - faked joy, faked faith, faked purpose.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">One thing I didn’t have to fake was my love for
music - listening to it, leading my bell choir, singing in the choir at church,
and, best of all, singing a song or two once a month at my friend Micah’s 2nd
Saturday Jam. This is mostly a jazz jam, but Micah always lets me sing what he
calls “Micah-adjacent” tunes by Bonnie Raitt, Parker Millsap, and others.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">I performed extensively throughout my childhood.
Violin recitals first and then voice recitals, chorus concerts, musicals, and
school variety shows. But it had been a long time, and these monthly jams
helped me build my confidence and remind me what it means to want to do a thing
really well, even if it’s just at a monthly jam in front of the most gracious
audience who would clap even if William Hung was in front of them, singing “She
Bang.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">The year closed out, and I gradually came out of
my funk, thanks in part to a good therapist but also because I really had faked
it until it was at least mostly true.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">One of the things I lost when I lost my job was
the opportunity to take a month-long sabbatical. I was planning on hiking 100
miles or so of the Camino de Santiago in May of 2023 as a way to ring in my
60s. I didn’t know the term “Solvitur Ambulando*” at the time, but it basically
means “it is solved by walking.” I didn’t have anything specific to solve
except the trek into my senior years, but I knew that pilgrimage could give me
perspective I’d never had before.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">So instead, I plugged away at my new job, sang and
directed, planned a church retreat and a writers' conference, and basically put
one foot in front of the other - still faking it some, but meaning it much more
than I had. Solvitur ambulando-ing without knowing that was what I was doing.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">Then Micah asked me if I’d like to record a song
for a new band he had put together with a group of amazingly talented
musicians. Of course, I said yes - this was a dream I’d had since high school -
albeit one that I assumed was unlikely to come true.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">And now, I’ve recorded a song in an actual studio,
sung in my first gig, and have a song on an album that is so full of beautiful
and exciting songs that the band members wrote and collaborated on; it almost
makes me cry every time I listen to it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">I have a new sense of confidence, I am happier, I
am more engaged with those I love, I’m writing again, I’m finding joy and
meaning in all sorts of little things, I have a renewed faith. Obviously, I
know that life has its ups and downs, but I’ve proven to myself that I can
weather the storms by walking through them.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">The name of the album is <i>Solvitur Ambulando</i>, and
it is a compilation of the perfect music to listen to while walking and solving
(paraphrasing Micah here - but I second the sentiment). And if you’re listening
closely, you’ll hear me on track eight, singing an old song by Paul Simon.
You’ll hear more than that, though. You’ll hear my life being changed for the
better through music.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">I’ve told Micah that he changed my life, and while
it sounds histrionic, it is true. I didn’t know it then, but the day that Rick
and I met Micah and his wife Shea at the Growler Store was one of the most
important ones in my adult life. It led me to confidence and joy when those
things were hard to come by—and that day led me to a place where I have met a
group of new people who are affirming, talented, and kind - Micah and Shea,
most of all.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">Go download <i>Solvitur Ambulando</i> by the band
Standard Candle from your favorite streaming service, grab your headphones or
earbuds, and take a walk. And then tell your friends how great it is.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">*Attributed to St. Augustine</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></p>Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-20293540343384131742023-08-10T13:32:00.000-04:002023-08-10T13:32:09.240-04:00Still Missing You<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaWghnvt_0Gr1X3zsYlfPURid-COO_07FKTgL3X-B06P2vBIKGE26M1f56wMX0ansGuvTUZTBLGdhEn5VlQcp_jMAQWjKG1Bgnvki1cdRwGcPxspfP71A7RU_2VQw758HUc3jU-4IOM7trostqhDWYtWxm_oyHylaLTZl_wjuNDDXbI4V2ll9vphUVCr8/s200/260337_10151626654255729_899826616_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaWghnvt_0Gr1X3zsYlfPURid-COO_07FKTgL3X-B06P2vBIKGE26M1f56wMX0ansGuvTUZTBLGdhEn5VlQcp_jMAQWjKG1Bgnvki1cdRwGcPxspfP71A7RU_2VQw758HUc3jU-4IOM7trostqhDWYtWxm_oyHylaLTZl_wjuNDDXbI4V2ll9vphUVCr8/s1600/260337_10151626654255729_899826616_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The author with her mom, circa 1967 or 1968</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Yesterday, August 9<sup>th</sup>, marked the one-year anniversary
of the last thing my mother ever said to me. The day after tomorrow will mark
the anniversary of her death.</p><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal">In the past year, I’ve run the gamut of emotions regarding
my mother’s passing – sadness, guilt, anger – and everything in between. Recently,
I’ve replayed her last few months in my mind, wondering if there was anything I
could/should have done differently. Should I have been more present (yes), was
I loving and kind when I was with her (yes as well) – you know – things we all struggle
with when a loved one dies. All the things we can’t change.</p><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We got Mom into hospice care about eight months before she
died, and that was a true blessing because I didn’t have to be the “first
responder.” When she tried to get out of bed and fell (again), the assisted
living’s staff first call was to the hospice nurse, who could determine whether
or not Mom needed to go to the hospital.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Two weeks before she died, a substitute/contract med tech
found Mom on the floor and couldn’t immediately get in touch with the hospice
nurse. She told me she “wasn’t losing her job just because I didn’t think she
needed to call 911.” So off to the hospital Mom went, with me following soon after.
This was the first time that Mom clearly didn’t know who I was. When I told her
I was Maryann, she said, “You don’t look like Maryann.” I pulled down my facemask,
and I guess that was enough to convince her, but it was unsettling. In the car
on the way back to her Assisted Living facility, she told me she was glad she
didn’t have to go to work that night because she didn’t feel good. I’m not at
all sure she knew who was driving her home.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Looking back, there were times when I’d walk into her room, and
her face would light up. She’d say, “Oh. It’s you!” I now know that she was
likely giving herself time to get my name into her mind, but she at least
recognized that I was someone she should know. That trip to the hospital marked
(or caused?) a big, and what was to be the final, decline in her mental state.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">For the two weeks after the hospital visit, her grasp on the
here and now got weaker. She spent a lot of time in the past – things like telling
me her homework was in the drawer and to make sure she didn’t forget it when
she went to class and wondering if she had completed her nightly paperwork
before she signed out from her shift as a nurse. I just played along.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The Monday before she died, I went to visit her. She was
very agitated, and her restless legs were at a peak restlessness. She was also
talking, talking, talking, but I couldn’t understand much of what she was
saying. She did ask me where her cigarette was (she quit smoking about 50 years
prior), and I told her I put it out. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The most striking thing that happened that day was that, for
a period of time, Mom was having a lovely, quiet conversation with someone who
was right in front of her. I could tell she was looking directly in front of
her face, not off into the distance. And she seemed <u>so</u> happy to see that
person. I wish I could have understood what she was saying. Dementia and mobility
issues had robbed her of so much joy, and it would have been nice to hear her true
sweetness one more time.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Besides the question about the cigarette, the only other
thing I understood that day was her saying, “Bye, baby!” when I left. I kissed
her cheek, told her I loved her, and that I’d be back soon. I wish I had known
that was the last time she’d talk to me. I would have said more.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I went back two days later, at about 3:30 in the afternoon.
Her room was dimly lit, and Mom was awake but completely still – a stark
contrast from the previous visit when she had been so agitated. A couple of
people were in the room, including the regular med tech and the hospice social
worker. I asked what was going on, and the med tech said, “She’s transitioning.”
Mom’s breathing was labored and loud, but otherwise, she seemed completely at
ease.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I thought I was prepared for this next step, but I really
wasn’t. Thank God for my brother, Phillip, who jumped in the car and drove down
from Knoxville as soon as I called, and the social worker, who stayed all night
with us.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Phillip and I held Mom’s hands and spent the night telling
the social worker stories about our childhood and ones we knew about Mom’s life.
For a time, we were sure she was aware we were there. I’m sure she enjoyed
listening to us talk. She liked nothing better than to hear people’s stories. I
hope it made the transition easier for her, knowing we were there. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Eventually, Mom’s breathing slowed and then finally stopped altogether.
We stayed for another hour or so and then went home to get some sleep. Her cat,
Nike, who lives with me now, curled up on the bed with me, keeping watch like
he always did for Mom. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And now, a year later, I don’t know any more about how to
live without her. I have to resist the urge to take the exit that would take me
to her assisted living facility. I have questions only she can answer –
forgotten names or events I’m sure she’d remember. Time can be generous and blur
out the hard spots, and I know it wasn’t all roses and sunsets, but I sure do
miss her. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p>Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-56242221017921535672021-06-04T11:29:00.001-04:002021-06-04T11:29:34.778-04:00A Letter About Pronouns<p>To <a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/teacher-who-believes-using-preferred-pronouns-will-defile-the-holy-image-of-god-sues-school-district-that-threatened-to-fire-him/ar-AAKFJGY?ocid=se">the teacher who believes that using preferred pronouns "will defile the holy image of God":</a><br /></p><p>Dear Mr. Cross,</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">You state in your lawsuit against your school system that “[you] will not affirm that a biological boy can be a girl and vice versa because it is against [your] religion.” I am assuming by “your religion” you mean Christianity, and as a Christian, I gotta call a big steaming pile of BS on you.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">You might not be comfortable with it. You might believe that gender dysphoria is nothing more than a problem that can be solved with prayer. You may think it’s disgusting and wrong. But let’s be clear. There is NOTHING in the bible that says gender dysphoria is a sin. But there <u>are</u> lots of things written in the bible that tell us that God made us to be exactly who we are.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Take Psalm 139, for example. The psalmist says<i> “you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”</i> Do you think that <b>you</b> get to choose who is excluded from being wonderfully made? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And what about the beginning of Ephesians 2:10 (my favorite verse in all of scripture)? <i>“For we are God’s workmanship…” </i>Are we not all God’s workmanship? Are some people excluded because they were made differently than you? Does God create a piece of art and then discard it because it’s not good enough? I certainly don’t think so.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">God made me a straight woman – I’m guessing you’re okay with that because it fits into your view of what is “right.” But God made trans and gay and all LBGTQ women and men as well. God doesn’t make mistakes. All of us are wonderfully made, indescribably magnificent in our own way, created by a God that cherishes us no matter our sexual preference or preferred pronoun. I for one am thankful that we live in a time where people can live the lives that they were born to live, not one that is censored by two thousand years of (mostly) men who thought they were the only ones who get to decide what God wants.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In the end, I hope we all remember that Jesus gave us only two rules: love God and love others. Loving others includes accepting those who are different than you and not assuming that their differences make them wrong in God’s eyes. You don’t have God’s eyes, so you don’t get to speak for Him. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Tell your own truth for what it is—bias and fear. Don’t disguise it as Christian thinking because it isn’t. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I wish you no ill will, but I hope you lose your lawsuit. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Sincerely,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Maryann Lozano</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><p><br /></p>Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-49402541495765988962021-06-02T17:31:00.005-04:002021-06-02T17:32:36.356-04:00Unconscious Bias Revisited<p><i>June 2, 2021 </i></p><p><em class="ip" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.063px;">I wrote this blog post last year around this time. I have worked to recognize my own unconscious bias but I still have much to do. It isn’t enough to work silently. At a minimum, one needs to be an ally — better yet a partner in change.</em></p><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">June 1, 2020</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Man. Just what we need, right? I mean, we already have this stupid virus cramping our style – and now we have to deal with riots and looting? Why can't people understand that violence and destruction won't change anything?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Real talk. It has been too easy for me to ask questions like this. I’m not saying that the question isn’t valid, but it’s not the right question for me - a white, privileged, employed, healthy, woman who lives in a safe neighborhood, has health insurance, and can walk in the park without being accused of threatening another person because of the color of my skin – to ask.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">As I watched the events unfold in Atlanta on Friday, my emotions, like so many other people’s, went from pride to dismay as the sun dropped below the horizon. Early Facebook posts, Instagram posts, and news stories all celebrated the peaceful rally. “This is how Atlanta does it,” they said. “We have a history of peaceful protest,” they said. We were all so proud.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Then things changed. There are all sorts of theories about why: police who were too aggressive, rioters who were only intent on destruction, outside extremists working to further destabilize our country. I have no idea what happened. But I watched the destruction unfold through my white eyes and asked the question, “why can’t people understand that the violence and destruction won’t change anything?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">That evening, my daughter, Hannah, sent me a blog post titled <a href="https://kylejhoward.com/blog/rioting-the-overflow-of-racial-trauma/">Why Do They Riot? Rioting and the Overflow of Racial Trauma</a>. I don’t know anything more about the author, Kyle J. Howard, than what is on his website, but his post hit me right in the center of my white privilege and white guilt.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;">“Generally speaking, white people tend to care more about the rioting itself than the overflow of trauma/pain that leads to such destruction… When black people have rioted, historically speaking, it has always been due to the overflow of trauma & the reactionary rage that occurs when a community has been squeezed too hard for too long.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Howard goes on to say that “White America does not listen to the laments of Black people unless it’s forced to,” and that “power is rarely ever willfully relinquished.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I was brought up in a household that was actively, vehemently, anti-racism. If I'm honest, I've always been kind of proud of myself in that regard. And yet…I know I am plagued with unconscious bias. Friday night, as I read Howard’s post, some of my biases were brought to the forefront – unconscious no more and insisting that I own them and face them head-on. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Let’s take a look back. <i>“We were all so proud.”</i><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">What was I proud of, really? What did I even have a <i>right</i> to be proud of? Should the sentence have read, <i>“We were all so proud of how peaceful our black people can be?”</i> Ouch. Maybe. Maybe at least a teeny, teeny bit. And only for a nanosecond. But crap, even that is shameful. Unconscious bias brought to the forefront.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><i>"Why can't people understand that violence and destruction won't change anything?"</i><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Easy question for me to ask because I've never been suppressed, pulled out of a car and tazed for no reason, or followed in a store to make sure I’m not going to steal anything because of the color of my skin or the hoodie I’m wearing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "…a riot is the language of the unheard." Well, I've never been unheard. I haven't lived in a pressure cooker my entire life—I have nothing to boil over. I don’t have any “overflow of pain/trauma” that would cause me to explode.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">The question I should have asked is, <i>"What can I do to help keep this from happening again."</i> Or maybe, <i>"Why didn't I do it sooner?"</i> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I need to shut up and listen. I need to support and learn. I need to act.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I still have a lot of work to do. I didn't know it, but I do. Honestly, I am ashamed of myself. I have many black and brown friends who I love dearly. I'm asking them to call me out when my unconscious bias is showing. Tell me how I can help and tell me when I am not helping. Be my cultural informant.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I realize that this post is all about me. But maybe some reader will recognize themselves in my struggle and start the hard process of admitting weakness and working to change.<o:p></o:p></div><div><br /></div>Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-49206785937065799002021-05-11T19:03:00.008-04:002021-05-11T19:04:47.586-04:00Karens Anonymous<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-O24WSq2B9JvUEPId5xQh_RZ2hCPOcbT9DehS1JCbS4xZpqSb3odUzJM0NWhjOat2RjkLZXbsu9Qm3lcvv4t-KPpsPW2-vmEwQ2dwV5dYrOq8Vd0C7WJSIlNP6ViSe9I06KbJtfAV5Xo/s1080/KAREN.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-O24WSq2B9JvUEPId5xQh_RZ2hCPOcbT9DehS1JCbS4xZpqSb3odUzJM0NWhjOat2RjkLZXbsu9Qm3lcvv4t-KPpsPW2-vmEwQ2dwV5dYrOq8Vd0C7WJSIlNP6ViSe9I06KbJtfAV5Xo/w194-h194/KAREN.png" width="194" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Hi…my name is Maryann… I mean Karen. I mean apparently, my name is Karen… I mean…</p><p>God. This is hard. I think I might be a Karen – maybe? I guess that’s what I’m here to find out. And I’d like to apologize to my friends who are named Karen (or Keren, Caren, or Karin). I don’t know who decided that Karen is the bad one but know that you are wonderful.</p><p>First of all, I’m not one of those “hey you kids get off my lawn!” types. And I don’t compose Nextdoor posts about people of color driving through my neighborhood looking suspicious because they are people of color. And I don’t write snarky responses to the people who DO post these things, starting a neighborhood war over the likelihood that the person driving down your street is your neighbor’s grandnephew coming for brunch. Frankly, the worst people driving through my neighborhood are my own neighbors DRIVING OVER THE SPEED LIMIT!</p><p>Oh, wait. See? There she goes. My inner Karen just showed her ugly, grey roots. (She seriously needs to get a box of color – and soon!). Breathe, Maryann. </p><p>Okay, I’m better now.</p><p>I will admit that I am likely to give someone not wearing a mask at the Kroger the stink-eye, but that’s not so bad, is it? All I’m asking is that my fellow shoppers GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM FOR ONCE IN THEIR LIVES!</p><p>Crap. There she is again. It seems as though she’s been breaking through more easily in the past few months. I’ll ignore the fact that the timing lines up perfectly with me cutting my meds in half, blame it on the pandemic, and do some more deep belly breathing.</p><p>I did notice the other day that the neighbor down the street – you know the one with the mid-century modern house - they need to mow their lawn, don’t you think? Thank God we don’t have any houses for sale on the street right now! I’d hate for a prospective buyer to see that. And I know that my lawn is a little bit overgrown, but I’ve been really, really busy and just haven’t gotten to it.</p><p>Oh. Yeah. I see it now. That’s kind of a pot and kettle situation, isn’t it? Shut up, Karen, and mow your own lawn.</p><p>Oh fine. I see on everyone’s faces that you think I need to mind my own business, avoid being a b-word on social media, and maybe up my meds again. I promise I will try. I will try really, really hard. And I’ll attempt to not fly off the handle the next time my neighbor complains about how many trees someone has taken down in their yard and whether or not they got approval from the county tree department. I mean, seriously. IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!</p><p>Oh well. I guess I’ll see you again tomorrow. </p><div><br /></div>Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-66945895411958309822021-03-04T15:51:00.000-05:002021-03-04T15:51:25.418-05:00Eulogy for a Friend<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span>We said goodbye to a friend today via a Livestream of his funeral. (That is one positive thing that this pandemic has given us - the ability to "be there" when we can't be there.) He died unexpectedly, in his sleep, leaving a daughter, a son, and three grandchildren to figure out how to live without him.</span><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span>We had known Jason for over 30 years; he worked with Rick for a while and then after he changed jobs, he would stay with us when he was in town - both in Baltimore and here in Atlanta. Our visits were filled with good food, good wine, and gut-busting laughter. There is not one memory I have of our time together that doesn't make me smile. Things like him telling me "a lesser driver would have missed that one" when I ran over a pothole on the highway. Things like watching South Park and laughing so loudly that Rick had to remind us, more than once, that our very young kids were asleep. I will never again hear the phrase "Katie, bar the door!" without thinking of him with a chuckle. There were so many great conversations about every possible subject and it seemed like we would never run out of things to say.</span><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span>But time happens, doesn't it? His territory changed with a new job, and there was no reason for him to travel to the Southeast anymore. Rick would sometimes run into him at trade shows and they would always call me so I could say hello. Jason was never a social media guy - no Facebook or Instagram - so communication trickled down to emails on birthdays, or congratulations on career news shared on LinkedIn. He did email me to tell me he was going to be a grandfather - something he was very excited about.</span><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Jason was a man who loved deeply, without holding anything back. He loved his children so fiercely that he fought the Texas Family Court system - a bureaucracy that seemed to believe that children are <u>always</u> better off with their mother, regardless of circumstances - to win custody of his son and then his daughter as well. I imagine that when death came, had he had the option, he would have fought against it in order to stay with his children, for whom he had fought so fiercely when they were young. And his grandchildren. But for whatever reason, it was Jason's time to go. I hope that it was peaceful and that if there is a heaven, he is there.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span>Reading the guest book entries on the funeral home website and hearing the stories from the people who spoke at his funeral, I am happy to know that Jason seems to have been loved by everyone who knew him. He was warm, funny, quick with a hug, easy to talk to, and ever so kind. He will be missed by so many people whose lives were made better by their time with him.</span><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span>If you get nothing else from this post, please take the time to reach out to the people who matter. Trust me, you will regret not having jumped at the chance for one more conversation while you could. I certainly do.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span>RIP, Jason. I will miss you, my friend. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><br /></span></div><i>"I've been one poor correspondent</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>And I've been too, too hard to find.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>But it doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind."</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>"Sister Golden Hair" - Gerry Beckley, songwriter</i><br /><br /></div></div><p></p>Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-1302051846439910012020-08-28T15:03:00.003-04:002020-08-28T15:03:55.766-04:00Loss in the 2020s<p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I lost an old friend today. No, she didn’t die. But she’s definitely gone and I’m really sad about it. We had been friends for about 30 years.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I lost her in that quintessential 2020’s way—she unfriended me on Facebook.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I’ll take some of the blame— I posted something last night after watching the only three minutes of Trump’s speech that I could stomach and knew that would be the end of our friendship. Full disclosure: I used the word “vermin.” And I added an #unfriendmeifyouwant hashtag. And she took me up on it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I have strong political beliefs that have gotten stronger during the past four years. I make no secret of my dislike of the current administration. My grown children and my husband also have strong political beliefs (fortunately for our family we are on the same side of the spectrum). My daughters might choose different words than I would, but I unequivocally support their sentiments and am incredibly proud of the outspoken, caring women they have become.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">My friend made a dismissive, nasty remark about “culling the herd” and “we’ll just look at each other’s pretty pictures on Instagram.” I knew she was talking about my daughter (her Goddaughter, who happens to be an excellent professional photographer), and I confirmed that she had indeed unfriended Hannah. And sure—go ahead and unfriend someone if you can’t stand their posts or politics. That’s your right. I’ve done it. Rarely, but I’ve done it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">But why be so blatantly mean when she had to have known I would see the post? I guess thirty years of close friendship doesn’t mean much. Or maybe it wasn’t that close after all. Maybe the last four years created a bigger divide than I thought.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">But why? Just because we disagree? I didn’t attack her. I didn’t attack her politics. I’ve never attacked her or her politics. We’ve had many opportunities to disagree about the current administration and we’ve always been respectful of each other’s opinions—or I thought we had.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">In the end, her being crappy to/about my kid in a forum she knew I’d see told me pretty much all I need to know about how much she cares about me or our past.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">But it’s a past that was important to me. Shared inside jokes. Long, important conversations. Crying together at the end of movies. Supporting one another through difficult times. Laughing until we cried. I wish that had mattered to her.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I goaded her; I know. But the problem is so much deeper than snarky hashtags. And it’s a problem that so many of us are dealing with right now. We have no capacity to have discourse on things about which we disagree. I’m as guilty as the next person as far as that is concerned. I know what I believe but am mostly incapable of explaining why I believe it. And as much as I can’t understand how people can believe a thing, they can’t understand how I don’t believe that same thing. And around and around we go.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I know some of my tens of readers (lol) are going through the same thing. I have no solution, of course. I just needed to write it out because that’s how I process.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I do know that it’s a hard world out there right now.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Be nice. Be patient. Maybe don’t use the word “vermin” to describe the political side you disagree with.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">And post lots and lots of pictures of puppies and kittens. Those are generally pretty safe.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p>Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-83206331702630630102020-06-01T22:18:00.000-04:002020-06-01T22:18:54.473-04:00Unconscious Bias<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Man. Just what we need, right? I mean, we already have this stupid virus cramping our style – and now we have to deal with riots and looting? Why can't people understand that violence and destruction won't change anything?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Real talk. It has been too easy for me to ask questions like this. I’m not saying that the question isn’t valid, but it’s not the right question for me - a white, privileged, employed, healthy, woman who lives in a safe neighborhood, has health insurance, and can walk in the park without being accused of threatening another person because of the color of my skin – to ask.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I watched the events unfold in Atlanta on Friday, my emotions, like so many other people’s, went from pride to dismay as the sun dropped below the horizon. Early Facebook posts, Instagram posts, and news stories all celebrated the peaceful rally. “This is how Atlanta does it,” they said. “We have a history of peaceful protest,” they said. We were all so proud.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then things changed. There are all sorts of theories about why: police who were too aggressive, rioters who were only intent on destruction, outside extremists working to further destabilize our country. I have no idea what happened. But I watched the destruction unfold through my white eyes and asked the question, “why can’t people understand that the violence and destruction won’t change anything?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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That evening, my daughter, Hannah, sent me a blog post titled <a href="https://kylejhoward.com/blog/rioting-the-overflow-of-racial-trauma/">Why Do They Riot? Rioting and the Overflow of Racial Trauma</a>. I don’t know anything more about the author, Kyle J. Howard, than what is on his website, but his post hit me right in the center of my white privilege and white guilt.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Generally speaking, white people tend to care more about the rioting itself than the overflow of trauma/pain that leads to such destruction… When black people have rioted, historically speaking, it has always been due to the overflow of trauma & the reactionary rage that occurs when a community has been squeezed too hard for too long.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Howard goes on to say that “White America does not listen to the laments of Black people unless it’s forced to,” and that “power is rarely ever willfully relinquished.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was brought up in a household that was actively, vehemently, anti-racism. If I'm honest, I've always been kind of proud of myself in that regard. And yet…I know I am plagued with unconscious bias. Friday night, as I read Howard’s post, some of my biases were brought to the forefront – unconscious no more and insisting that I own them and face them head-on. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Let’s take a look back. <i>“We were all so proud.”</i><o:p></o:p></div>
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What was I proud of, really? What did I even have a <i>right</i> to be proud of? Should the sentence have read, <i>“We were all so proud of how peaceful our black people can be?”</i> Ouch. Maybe. Maybe at least a teeny, teeny bit. And only for a nanosecond. But crap, even that is shameful. Unconscious bias brought to the forefront.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>"Why can't people understand that violence and destruction won't change anything?"</i><o:p></o:p></div>
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Easy question for me to ask because I've never been suppressed, pulled out of a car and tazed for no reason, or followed in a store to make sure I’m not going to steal anything because of the color of my skin or the hoodie I’m wearing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "…a riot is the language of the unheard." Well, I've never been unheard. I haven't lived in a pressure cooker my entire life—I have nothing to boil over. I don’t have any “overflow of pain/trauma” that would cause me to explode.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The question I should have asked is, <i>"What can I do to help keep this from happening again."</i> Or maybe, <i>"Why didn't I do it sooner?"</i> </div>
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I need to shut up and listen. I need to support and learn. I need to act.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I still have a lot of work to do. I didn't know it, but I do. Honestly, I am ashamed of myself. I have many black and brown friends who I love dearly. I'm asking them to call me out when my unconscious bias is showing. Tell me how I can help and tell me when I am not helping. Be my cultural informant.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I realize that this post is all about me. But maybe some reader will recognize themselves in my struggle and start the hard process of admitting weakness and working to change.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-54525129897663825572020-02-17T12:38:00.000-05:002020-02-17T12:39:13.671-05:00American Pickers/Fun with Mom<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">We moved Mom into a new Assisted Living community last August. We liked the old one, but the company that owns it decided to change the way they determine the cost for care, and Mom's fees more than doubled*, so we had to find somewhere new. I used a service that helps families find facilities, visited several around town, took Mom to visit two, and she chose where she wanted to move.</span></div>
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The process was easier this time because she was a willing participant (until the day of the move when she had second thoughts, but we got through that). Unfortunately, the new place was at the end of a renovation process, and the elevator was to be out of service for a few weeks. Instead of moving directly into her 3<sup>rd</sup> floor 2-room apartment with a balcony, she ended up in a 1-room efficiency for 3 weeks.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her biggest complaint was that she could only watch one channel on the television (The History Channel). This was my fault – I didn’t want to have to mess with Comcast more than once, so I figured I’d get it hooked up once she moved into her real apartment. When we plugged the cable that was in the wall into her old cable box, THC was magically on her television but, without a proper remote (that she wouldn’t know how to use anyway), she had no way to change the channel. So, for three weeks, I heard daily complaints that all she could watch was The History Channel, and why did I think she wanted to watch American Pickers and shows about alien landings all of the time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We finally got her moved upstairs, and basic cable installed. But guess what? The basic package from Comcast does NOT include The History Channel. Then all I heard was daily complaints that she couldn't watch American Pickers, and that was the only show worth watching in all of tv-dom. We upgraded her, and now she has access to pretty much whatever she wants to watch, which consists solely of American Pickers, Ancient Aliens, and a Soundscapes music channel that plays wallpaper for your mind music and shows pretty pictures.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now—if only she could figure out the remote.<o:p></o:p></div>
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*Interestingly, Mom has far less care at the new place and is much healthier than she was at the old one. She’s more independent, happier, physically stronger, and less likely to fight with her caregivers. I know that with dementia things tend to slide along on a plane until a decline happens—and when it does, it’s usually not a steady drop but a precipitous one. For now, I’m going to enjoy this time of relative calm.<o:p></o:p></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-73399525107379025812019-05-12T12:06:00.000-04:002019-05-12T12:06:00.889-04:00Finding JoyToday is Mother’s Day – my 27th Mother’s Day if I’m counting. I am at the beach with my sweet husband and my wonderful girls, so today should be a good one, right?<br />
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We drove down yesterday. Sara and Rick were in one car. Hannah, Spike (beloved diabetic cat), Bella (beloved dog with heart issues) and me in the other. Bella was very excited to be going with us. She is always sad when we leave her, and when she saw me putting her doggie car seat in the car, she jumped in and wouldn’t get out. She stayed in there a good hour before we left.<br />
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By the time we got to the beach house, Bella was obviously not breathing well. About twenty minutes after we got here, my sweet puppy died.<br />
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And now, today, my mom fell out of her bed and is being taken to the ER for x-rays. It would be a drag for Mother’s Day anyway, but with me being seven hours away, it’s worse. She’s probably okay – she really didn’t want to go to the hospital, but agreed to go, “just in case.” My brother, who lives in Knoxville, will be down there if there are any major issues, and my amazing neighbor is going to go over to St. Joe’s to check on Mom. But still…<br />
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So, I have lots of reasons to be sad and anxious today, which makes it the perfect day to find reasons to be joyful.<br />
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I’m not saying I shouldn’t feel the feelings. Every hour or so I’m washed over with sadness about Bella, and that’s a good thing. Feeling sad means I loved her, and I want to honor that. And it’s okay to be anxious about my mother. But I can’t let these feelings overwhelm me to the point that I can’t find joy.<br />
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So, here’s a list of things that I’m joyful about:<br />
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That I’m in a beautiful place with my family<br />
That the sun is shining<br />
That Anthony will be here in a couple of days, completing the family unit<br />
That we all get along so well<br />
That there are love bugs all over the deck…well – making love, apparently<br />
That Spike is asleep on the ottoman<br />
That I have a job that I absolutely love<br />
That I have really wonderful friends<br />
That I got to eat a croissant today<br />
That I have a church that feeds my soul<br />
Dishwashers<br />
Photographs<br />
Books<br />
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There are more. But this is a good start.<br />
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RIP sweet girl</div>
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<br />Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-23637625097519352602018-09-08T20:23:00.002-04:002018-09-10T08:45:08.047-04:00The Right Next Thing<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This morning I attended a meeting of The Order of the Daughters of the King. There’s a lot to say about The Daughters that I’m not going to say here, but for now, I’ll tell you that we are dedicated to prayer and service, and we meet once a month, September – May. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The guest speaker today was from the Atlanta Mission (<a href="https://atlantamission.org/">https://atlantamission.org/</a>). There’s a <b>WHOLE</b> lot more to say about the Atlanta Mission, and I highly recommend you check out their website and help where you can, but that’s not really the point of my story today.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Before our guest speaker, Michelle, was introduced, Sue Burtenshaw, the wife of the late Fr. Noel Burtenshaw, spoke for a few minutes. Fr. Burtenshaw, who passed away a couple of months ago, was a beloved priest at St. Martins. Sue had come to thank The Daughters for the amazing reception that the ladies of our Order arranged for Fr. Noel’s funeral, and she also gifted us with some “Noelisms” that she had captured over the years. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here’s the “Noelism” that caught my complete attention this morning: </span></div>
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<b style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;">Choose the right next thing.</b></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our group and the Endowment Fund from St. Martins donated all sorts of home goods to the Atlanta Mission to help women who are moving from their shelter program into their own apartments. There was more than Michelle could take in her car, so I offered to load whatever I could into my SUV and take it to the Atlanta Mission offices after the meeting. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I got to the offices, Michelle wasn’t there yet, but there was a woman sitting on a bench in the shade. She wanted to know if they were open today, and I told her I had no idea but asked her if she wanted to sit in my air-conditioned car while we waited for Michelle. She declined because she was charging her phone and waiting for a call from her son. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When Michelle got there, we unloaded all of the stuff with the help of this lovely, soft-spoken lady, Leah, who was waiting for her son’s call. Leah has two children. Her 12-year-old daughter, who has some mental health issues, lives with Leah's mother. Her 8-year-old son lives with his father in Atlanta. Leah needed help. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Mission offices are not open on the weekends. Michelle and I had discussed taking all of the donations to her house so she could take them to the office on Monday, but in the end, we decided to go ahead and take them to the office today. Had we not, I don’t know where Leah would have gone.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we left, Michelle took Leah to the Mission’s emergency shelter so that she could get the services she needed.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I was leaving, I gave Leah my best wishes and told her she and her children would be in my prayers. She told us that things were hard. And she told us how startlingly easy it was for a family to fall apart. I told her that she had taken a step today towards asking for help and getting the help that she needed.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Let me be clear. The <b>only</b> thing I did for Leah was that I treated her with respect and caring—something I try to do for anyone I meet. But what was really remarkable was what Leah did for herself and her family. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. It will take more courage to accept help and to develop enough self-awareness and self-love to make lasting changes. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But the only way to start is to CHOOSE THE RIGHT NEXT THING. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m like every other human on earth. I screw up all the time. I make terrible choices. I deliberately avoid what is good because it’s hard. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It doesn’t help to beat ourselves up about our past. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t learn. That’s not to say that we don’t need to make amends and ask for forgiveness.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But the only thing we can control is what we do next. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, take power in your ability to CHOOSE THE RIGHT NEXT THING. And then choose the <i>next</i> right next thing.</span></div>
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Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-42176400938345459912018-01-23T23:27:00.000-05:002018-01-23T23:27:00.864-05:00The Writing Life<div class="MsoNormal">
There <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is a quote from Henry James’ book, <i>The Art of Fiction,</i> that says to be a good writer, one needs to “try to be one on whom nothing is lost.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try. I really do try. It’s a struggle for me because I’m always somewhere else. I’m either listening to the song in my head, trying to figure out how to solve whatever challenge has presented itself or daydreaming about what I’d do if I won the lottery.</div>
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In an effort to make the documenting of all of the things that haven’t been lost on me easier, I’ve taken to carrying around blank index cards a la Anne Lamott. Unfortunately, I still have just as many blank cards in my various bags as I had when I placed them there. The one tool that I do use, however intermittently, is the notes function on my phone.</div>
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I recently perused these notes, to see what it was that I thought needed to be documented. I share them with you now, and you can decide for yourself if anything has been lost.</div>
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The first few notes are a shopping list for the ingredients for Pancho Villa Stew; a line of text that reads “Lg itns16122v 15.7 cubic feet,” which <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">must</i> be something other than the measurement of a human large intestine, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what, exactly; the pin to unfreeze my credit reports; and the name of a movie, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Leningrad Cowboys go America</i>.</div>
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Based on the dates, these notes were taken prior to my determination to not lose anything. The next one, though, is a real gem: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crab piles of beige and hold sand flecked with sparkling bits of broke. Shells. Dog pees. Insult to injury, die one she killed last night. </i>This is prize-winning stuff here.</div>
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Next are more shopping lists, a quote from Jack London, a shopping list, and then the details of a dream, written as a list: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dream. Final Exam. Hospital. Not dying. Go to bathroom. Come back person waiting for me. Crack head on floor. Find me under bed. Exam over – crying. Back to Dolly’s house. Keep dog cause she’s being a pain.</i> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least I didn’t die, I guess, and I got to go to my grandmother Dolly's house, which makes it the best dream ever.</div>
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More shopping lists follow (I shop a lot I guess), and then the inexplicable, “While you were sleeping. My crazy Uncle Irwin who fell asleep in the Mac and Cheese.” While You Were Sleeping is one of my favorite movies, but I don’t have an Uncle Irwin, that I know of. And certainly not one who fell asleep in the Mac and Cheese (although I do know someone who did).</div>
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Another list: fun, charcoal, beer, being corn. Seriously? I get the charcoal and beer, and maybe I could purchase fun somewhere, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">being corn</i>? Something was definitely lost here.</div>
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The most recent note actually makes sense to me, maybe because I wrote it just recently about an elderly woman at the rehab center where my mother was recovering from a fractured pelvis. She was tooling around in her wheelchair and rooting through the uneaten trays from the kitchen looking for dessert. She found a piece of cake, and my mother and I watched her enjoy it. She was clearly in heaven. I just hope she isn't diabetic.</div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-41044708094269841112017-11-15T12:13:00.000-05:002017-11-15T12:13:35.521-05:00Promises<div class="MsoNormal">
My mother is in the hospital again. She just moved back to her home after being with me for about six weeks following hip replacement surgery. Three days after being home she fell and fractured her pelvis in two places. According to her, she was just hanging up her coat when she lost her balance.</div>
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Of course, it’s obvious to me, and to my siblings, that her townhouse isn’t the place for an 82-year-old woman with limited mobility. The sunken living room and the many stairs going up to the bedrooms and full bathrooms are more falls waiting to happen.</div>
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It’s also obvious to my siblings and me that her companion is…well, in the interest of avoiding slander and/or bad language; suffice it to say that we’re not fans.</div>
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But today Mom made it clear to my brother and sister that she doesn’t care what we feel, worry about, want – she’s going to do what she’s going to do and if we don’t like it, well, so what?</div>
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So where does that leave me? Angry, to be sure, and hurt. But what about the bigger picture? It’s easier for my siblings – they don’t live here, so they don’t have to decide on a day-to-day basis if they’re going to check on Mom, go to the store for her, make sure she has her prescriptions, etc. And when Mom was at my house right after her surgery, she told me she didn’t know what she would do without me. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I promised her she’d never have to find out. </b></div>
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Now she’s making a decision that maybe shuts me out. She doesn’t want my opinion, and I can’t just be silent if I think she’s unsafe. And to be honest, I don’t want to be manipulated. Do I jump every time she needs something that her good-for-nothing “boyfriend” won’t get for her because he doesn’t like the ethnicity of the customers at Kroger, or doesn’t want to use the gas to go to the pharmacy? Am I allowed to say something <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">then</i> or am I just supposed to swoop in, save the day, and then shut up again? Am I allowed to point out that if she falls and breaks something doing a normal thing like hanging up a piece of clothing, maybe that means it’s time to make some hard decisions before she hurts herself more? Apparently not.</div>
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That makes this relationship something different than I thought it was. That means that Mom wants something different than maybe I’m able to offer. That means that maybe I won’t be able to keep my promise. And I don’t know what to do with that.</div>
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Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-46822477513398524152017-11-02T23:17:00.000-04:002017-11-02T23:17:11.237-04:00Prayer Requests<div class="MsoNormal">
A dear friend sent me a text today, asking for prayers for a family member who is having some health issues. Now, I believe in the power of prayer. I know of an instance where a very powerful prayer warrior got his prayer circle together – probably circling the entire United States, if not the world – and prayed a brain tumor to change colors so that the surgeons could tell the difference between tumor and brain tissue. I myself have had some remarkable, life-changing things happen in response to prayer. But while I know that prayers for her family are in order, I’m not sure that’s what my friend really needed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I think that she might have just needed some encouragement. Someone who loves her to say, “I totally understand why life sucks right now.” Or, “Gosh, you’ve worked so hard forever, and you’re one of the best people I know. This just isn’t fair.” Or maybe even “You sound like you need a break—how can I help?” But it’s usually easier to ask for a prayer than an ear.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We don’t like to complain. Someone always has it worse than we do, and it feels wrong to bitch about the fact that your house is a mess because no one will clean it but you; or that the mortgage is going to be late again because the power bill was higher than expected; or that a family member is sick and you’re worried, of course, but it’s really hard to get your own stuff done because you have to take care of him/her. Saying any of that out loud feels petty and whiny. Even the big stuff like major illnesses or job losses or *<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">add your own big thing here</i>* can sound bad. This is especially true in the era of Facebook and Instagram, where we put forth our shiny, happy, selves and only rarely expose the painful, dark side of our own lives. Showing the darker side makes us look weak and desperate for affirmation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But let’s give ourselves permission to text, or better yet, call a friend and say “Man. This really crappy thing just happened and I need to vent. I need someone who loves me to listen to me without judgment. I need some encouragement.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I hardly ever give myself permission to do that. I’m supposed to be the positive one. And I’m sure my stupid issues are nothing compared to someone else’s problems. So, I’ll just keep it inside. My blood pressure is up, I’m not sleeping well, and I’m angry all the time, but I’m definitely NOT going to bother anyone else with my stupid problems lest I sound like the whiner I believe I am.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">
So, my friend (I know you know I’m talking to you), I will pray. In fact, I’ll pray for your whole family. But mostly I’ll pray for you and that you know that all you need to do is pick up the phone and text or call. You can count on me to answer, and to commiserate, and mostly to understand. Because I love you. And I know you’ll do the same for me. <o:p></o:p></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-37250351311280801252017-01-22T21:31:00.000-05:002017-01-22T21:31:05.684-05:00My Unsolicited Opinions<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m supposed to be doing my homework. But I decided to take
a 5-minute break and look at Facebook because the Falcons are headed to the
Superbowl and a lot of my friends are super excited about that. I like seeing
posts from friends who are super excited.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot of my friends and family, men and women, also marched yesterday
in support of women and they posted about that. I really liked seeing those posts. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But a few of my friends have posted long missives about why
they don't support the march, which is okay because I'm all about how being allowed to have different opinions is one of the things that makes America great. So here are my opinions. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">My observation about the anti-march posts is that it looks like most of the posts are ones that
have been copied onto walls from someone else’s page (which I have done at
least once as well, when a post written by my niece mirrored exactly my
feelings on the 2016 election). There are two that seem to prevail. One
berates the organizers of the march in Washington for disallowing pro-life
feminist groups from being sponsors. The other goes on about how “I’m a women…
I make my own choices…stop being a victim…protest about things that matter like
women’s rights in countries where they are supremely held down.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First of all, I think it was unfortunate that any women’s
group, including the pro-life feminist groups felt disinvited to the party. I agree that women throughout the world are marginalized, and whether or not you are
pro-choice should not be a reason that you aren’t allowed to support women’s
causes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But seriously – some of the
posts sounded like there is some conspiracy to encourage all pregnant women to
have abortions. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Let me say that NOT
ONE person I know who is pro-choice (myself included) is pro-abortion.</b> Abortion
is a terrible thing – I am not pro-abortion. So let’s make sure not one girl or
woman is in a position to even have to worry about whether or not to get an
abortion. Let’s teach our girls about birth control, and having respect, and taking
responsibility for their own bodies. Let’s teach our boys about birth control,
and having respect, and to take responsibility for their own bodies, and to
understand that an unwanted pregnancy is generally <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>much worse for the girl than for the boy. Let’s
stop rape and child abuse and incest. BUT…let’s agree that if an unwanted
pregnancy happens, it is very possible that if abortion isn’t a legal
alternative, there are women who will find someone to perform one anyway.
Someone in a dirty, unsanitary back room. Someone who doesn’t know what they
are doing. Someone who can KILL that girl. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Secondly… and I apologize ahead of time for the disgusting profanity copied below...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is there any woman out there who thinks Donald Trump’s well-publicized
description of how he tried to “move on” a woman is okay??? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCOIrHVvUmtIoC_6SoONbEZCJGmI4cMq9pAuLKEz-S_BVCsRrJkLlwCH4Bp9rKo0h5A3cn3ISs0Y4oQjJNepMaFxR_KMugULd1hiOAjJv6VnhPIaVQL6Gz0J3ABHY8ntA5iM9x50ZYfyM/s1600/gross.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCOIrHVvUmtIoC_6SoONbEZCJGmI4cMq9pAuLKEz-S_BVCsRrJkLlwCH4Bp9rKo0h5A3cn3ISs0Y4oQjJNepMaFxR_KMugULd1hiOAjJv6VnhPIaVQL6Gz0J3ABHY8ntA5iM9x50ZYfyM/s320/gross.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of the people
I know who have posted these canned responses to the march have sons. I want to
ask them- "if your son said 'I moved on her like a bitch' and 'grab them by the
pussy,' would that be okay with you? Or would you just say 'well… boys will be
boys?'' I have to believe that the latter is true if this doesn’t make you
physically sick. I don’t care how long ago it was, it’s wrong and perverted. It shows a gross lack of respect for women that we cannot let go unchecked. If we don't continue to let the president and congress know that we won't stand for this type of treatment then it will just get worse. To not say anything against it is to condone it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just to be clear, I have friends who I respect who voted for
Trump. This isn’t a rant against people who voted for Trump.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But rather than troll anyone’s Facebook post,
I figured I’d just get it out here and then let it go. Now back to my homework…
<o:p></o:p></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-36921608110713337442016-11-18T17:23:00.000-05:002016-11-18T17:23:04.633-05:00The Ripple Effect<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Many of my friends and family are really upset about the
outcome of the election. If you know me at all you know that I am too.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But this isn’t a political post. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve had several conversations over the past couple of weeks
about how an individual can affect change. There are people out there who can make
a large-scale impact on the world. Mother Teresa, for example, or Elon
Musk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But just because my scope of
influence is way, way smaller than theirs, that doesn’t mean that I can’t make
a difference that matters. And that’s not just true of me, of course. Anyone
can.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the scope of whatever
disaster you imagine will happen because of [insert catalyst here – Trump’s
presidency, illegal immigration, terrorism, global warming – whatever it is
that keeps you up at night]. But I know that I can’t change the results of the
election. I can’t slow down the melting of the icecaps. I can change my own behaviors
so that my contribution to environmental issues is minimized, but I alone can’t
fix it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
What I can fix is one child’s ability to read or do their math problems. I can
fix a family’s ability to eat healthy food for a week. I can hold someone’s
hand while they wait for news from the operating room. I can provide a woman
living at a shelter an outfit to wear to a job interview.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My point is that if we want to change the world, we need to
start in our communities. If you are frustrated or angry with the state of your
community, state, or country, go out and make a difference on your street.
Imagine the impact if everyone did just one thing. Imagine if everyone did just
one thing every month. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This was what I was telling my brother Tuesday night. Then on
Thursday, the leaders of the company I work for said the same thing – it’s time
to take care of our communities. And lest you think it was all just talk, they
put power behind their words. All employees at 22squared now have 5 VTO days per year to
take for volunteer efforts, and if someone is involved in a larger-scale
program, they can apply to take a whole month.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m grateful to be working for a company that encourages
community service. The next step is finding more opportunities to make an
impact – to throw a small pebble into the pond and see the ripples grow.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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What will you do?<o:p></o:p></div>
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</style>Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-617556235494443152016-03-19T22:12:00.001-04:002016-03-19T22:12:14.504-04:00Grieving For My Friend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9BPvRiYiwA18XleZuho7dhLrBVIL_x2kjVi73cGF85g41HmBow3nRIlEsjOabHyVxh1t7Rl7pLeYtcY47swxJH9FO6snbl29QWVPUdeXahtJzEzgrXrdHAjN0SRTwxFr1whOvmv7M8w8/s1600/Sebastian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9BPvRiYiwA18XleZuho7dhLrBVIL_x2kjVi73cGF85g41HmBow3nRIlEsjOabHyVxh1t7Rl7pLeYtcY47swxJH9FO6snbl29QWVPUdeXahtJzEzgrXrdHAjN0SRTwxFr1whOvmv7M8w8/s1600/Sebastian.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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My friend Sebastian Benjamin died last Sunday night. I am heartbroken for his family. His wife is a friend - I actually
introduced them. And he has three beautiful children whose lives will be
forever affected by the loss of this man.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t remember meeting Sebastian. We worked together at
JWT Atlanta, and while he started there a couple of years after I did, I have
no recollection of a Sebastian-less JWT. Even though we worked on different
accounts, we got to be friends, I’d even say good friends, and we talked about
everything. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sebastian was funny. And he thought I was funny, so he made me
feel good. We laughed a lot. For the majority of our time together at JWT, we
were just two people in a common orbit, spending time together when we could.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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For about a year, I actually worked for Sebastian on the US
Virgin Islands account. That wasn’t the best arrangement, as it turned out. I
wasn’t what the account person he needed on the account, and he wasn’t the manager
I needed. But when I moved on to another account, our friendship remained
strong, thank God. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I already said he was funny. He was also smart. And he cared
about his friends. And when he smiled, everyone around him was warmed by it. He
had a “colorful” vocabulary. He was a pain in the ass because he always wanted
the work to be better, and he could never tell the client no. He loved his
wife, Kim, and told me many times that she was the best thing that had ever happened
to him, and he didn’t deserve her. He was madly in love with his children. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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All week, memories of Sebastian have been flooding my mind. After
I left JWT, we didn’t see each other much. Lives move in different directions. My
last memory of him is at an impromptu party at another friend’s house. We were
all sitting out on her balcony, and Sebastian was in the corner, right next to
me, and we were all laughing. If I won’t have the luxury of making more
memories with him, I’m glad this is what I’m left with. But I’m going to miss
that laughter.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rest in peace, my good friend. And I hope you know how much
you were loved. The world is a little less vivid without you here.<o:p></o:p></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-57339760224051368652015-10-23T16:12:00.000-04:002015-10-23T16:12:02.055-04:00A Witness for the Prosecution<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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I had the unenviable task of testifying in a federal trial
earlier this week. If I typed the details of the case here, it would be way too
long and horribly boring. The short story is that I was a prosecution witness
in a case against a vendor that I had contact with when I was working in
advertising. The trial was in Tucson, Arizona. Here’s the breakdown of the trip.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>The Good:</u></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>On the flight to Tucson, the gentleman in the seat to my right didn’t mind me eating a tuna salad sandwich .(Note to self – next time get turkey. The tuna was good, but I wouldn’t have to
ask permission to eat turkey.)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>My seatmate to the left of me was asleep.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>I was well prepared by <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>hours</u></b> of conference calls with the prosecuting attorney and
his team.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>The first defense attorney who questioned me was
kind of a doofus (and always smirking) – definitely technology challenged – and
he kept asking where the red squiggles on the screen came from. Finally, one of
his team rolled his eyes (really - he visibly rolled his eyes) and told Smirky
Doofus that one of his file folders was touching the touch screen. This was
right after he accidentally turned the system off and didn’t know how to turn
it back on again. Looking back, I wish I had secretly touched the screen every
once in a while to keep making red squiggles and dots. That would have been
hilarious!</li>
<li>There were several people on the jury who nodded
and smiled encouragingly at me as I was testifying. They were the only really
friendly faces I saw in the courtroom that day.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>One of the nice jury men took a short nap. I
couldn’t blame him. I wanted to take a nap too. Actually, what I really wanted was
a glass of wine.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Right after I saw the man taking the nap, I
looked at the clock in the back of the room and the hands were spinning around
really fast. I pretended that I was in a movie where everything around me was
moving in triple or quadruple time while I was sitting completely still. Well,
I actually didn’t, but I wanted to. Instead, I paid close attention to Smirky
Doofus so that he couldn’t trip me up with convoluted questions. I had been
warned about those earlier in the day.</li>
<li>My favorite question that Smirky Doofus asked me
was about an email. “So, Ms. Lozano. Do you see this email that Ms. Bailey
wrote to my client, Mr. Rivera?” “Well, Mr. Doofus, I see the email, but there
aren’t any names in the TO: or cc: sections, so I have no way of knowing if it
was sent to Mr. Rivera or not." “Oh…. well… Um… (shuffling of papers) Judge, can
I take a minute?” What a doofus. (P.S. I'm guessing that Ms. Bailey had blind copied everyone on the email, which would explain why there were no visible names in the TO: section.)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>If the rest of my life goes well, I’ll never
have to do something like this again.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><u>The Bad</u></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>My seatmate to the left of me was asleep – which was in the good column until I had to go to the
bathroom.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>I was supposed to fly home Monday, but since I
was on the stand for 4 ½ hours, I missed my fight and had to stay over another
night. I really wanted to be home.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>I realized mid-testimony that I could see my reflection
in the monitor in front of me, and a piece of my hair was sticking straight up.
I had to work to NOT see it for the rest of the time I was on the stand.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>The lady sitting next to me on the flight home,
while very friendly, was sucking on candy and making lots of smacking noises.</li>
<li>Smirky Doofus was trying to make me say that what
the defendants had done was okay. The reasons he was giving for it being okay were bullpoopy, and everyone knew that – or I hope everyone
knew. I’m sure that at least everyone who wasn’t on the jury knew, but the
jurors are supposed to only take what is testified into account, so I had to be
very careful to make my case well. I don’t know if I succeeded.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>The Ugly</u></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>In Atlanta, there was a guy at security putting
his shoes back on. I wish he had put his belt on first. I could see at least
half of his rear end, and you can’t unsee that. I’m still having nightmares. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>On the way home, the plane sounded like the tuberculosis
ward. I’m serious. If I end up with some sort of hideous bronchial disease you’ll
know where it came from. </li>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>I was told that they’d let me know once the trial was over,
and what the verdict was. I hope that’s true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I hope it’s guilty!</div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-89885719136514629102015-09-29T16:32:00.000-04:002015-09-29T16:32:03.874-04:00What's In A Name?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve read a couple of novels recently where one of the
dangers of life is to let someone know your “real name.” Apparently, once your
“real name” is discovered, the person (or creature) who knows it has power over
you and can use it against you. I’ve also read some things that encourage
people to tell their story as a way to both know themselves, and to open themselves to others honestly and meaningfully.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">There are things in my story that I don’t want anyone to
know. Things that make me cringe when the memories break through cracks in my
carefully constructed internal walls. Some are just embarrassing, some are
heartbreaking, but every one of them is as much a part of my real name as the
things that I’m happy and eager for people to know. Mother, loving, faithful,
compassionate, helpful, funny, teacher, writer… those are my real name.
Forgetful, lazy, procrastinator, selfish, neglectful, liar, hack… these are my
real name too. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My story is filled with moments of grace – snuggles with my
children, laughter with my siblings and parents, falling in love with my
husband, moments where God has touched my life in very clear ways, opportunities
to minister to friends and strangers at church and out in the world. My story
is also filled with moments that I’d be happier not remembering. Things that
I’m so ashamed of they almost take my breath away. That time in 2<sup>nd</sup> grade
when I joined my schoolmates in making fun of one of the special needs children
at my school, losing my grandmother’s letters that I was transferring to typed
pages, hurting people I love with careless words. And other things that I can’t
say out loud for fear someone might hear and recognize me for the charlatan I am. </span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Depending on my mood and circumstances of my life at any
given time, I live fully into whichever set of names feels more real. And I
believe fully in my story of grace, or my story of disgrace, whichever feels
truer. </span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s easy to assume that I am alone in my duplicity. But it
is more likely that we all have names we don’t want people to know – stories
that we are too ashamed to tell. If we’re lucky, we learn from those stories
and strive to let go of the names we don’t want to define us. And for me, there are a few precious people out there who know
my stories, good and bad, and I’m blessed with their love anyway.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Finally, there is a prayer that one of our priests says at
the end of the service that gives me hope when the mostly untold parts of my
story break through the cracks:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></i></span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>Life is
short,</span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></i></span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1443554943823_4386" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1443554943823_4385"><span>and there isn't much time to gladden the hearts
of those who travel with us.</span></span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></i></span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1443554943823_4384" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1443554943823_4383"><span>So let us be quick to love,</span> and make
haste to be kind,</span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></i></span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1443554943823_4380" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1443554943823_4392"><span>resting assured that God is now,</span> always
has been,</span></i></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1443554943823_4377" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1443554943823_4378"><span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>and always will be infinitely more
concerned with our future than with our past.</b></span> </span></span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></i></span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>So may
the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit</span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></i></span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span><span> </span>be upon you and remain with you always.</span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="yiv1499600536msonormal" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>Amen</span></span></span></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-41326710649762202762015-08-25T17:07:00.000-04:002015-08-25T17:07:09.105-04:00Welcome Home!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Wre8zRhZJRDv8TE0xn_n_zAZfSgrDjqwXYR1DNiBswJVkaKwY_5PmbEGbpSguvpRZERJqGkVygaEGnMcoQtyXfDz2tVRquZ-F57HtVwb-uzk-fbgFFxRwC4ywQ8XrlpVI3MMUANde_E/s1600/Entrance.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Wre8zRhZJRDv8TE0xn_n_zAZfSgrDjqwXYR1DNiBswJVkaKwY_5PmbEGbpSguvpRZERJqGkVygaEGnMcoQtyXfDz2tVRquZ-F57HtVwb-uzk-fbgFFxRwC4ywQ8XrlpVI3MMUANde_E/s200/Entrance.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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I spent last weekend in the foothills of the North Georgia Mountains,
in Toccoa, Georgia, with a group of wonderful people from my church. This was
our annual parish retreat, and it was the first year since before I became a
member at St. Martin’s that we held the retreat at Camp Mikell.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Camp Mikell is one of my favorite places on earth. It’s not
a fancy place, but you can hear the creek from your room in the Retreat Center,
you can sit in a rocking chair on the porch of the old dining hall and look at
the cross that was built into the mountain sometime long before I attended camp
there in the 1970s, or you can climb a rope ladder that looks like it came from
a pirate ship and challenge yourself on the high ropes course, ending with an exhilarating
zip line ride to the ground. Our group did all of these things and more. We also
talked about how we invite God into our homes and our lives, did a few crafts, and
enjoyed some wonderful fellowship time on Friday and Saturday evenings, playing
games and getting to know each other better. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Our Sunday service was held in an outdoor chapel, and I had
the honor of giving the homily. I’m posting it here – I’m guessing that almost anyone
who has ever spent any time as a camper at Camp Mikell will agree with my
description of the “Mikell Magic.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>We’ve been talking a lot about “home” this weekend. About welcoming Christ into our physical and spiritual homes. As I was thinking about what to say today, my mind kept returning to what it means to “feel at home.” <br /><br />I actually googled the phrase and read that it means to feel as if you belong, to feel as if you were in your home and to feel accepted. Those are the words that really touched me – to feel accepted. <br /><br />I changed schools a lot when I was young. We didn’t actually move houses, but they changed the school lines twice between 1st and 5th grades, and then halfway through 5th grade I changed schools from public school to the private school that my older sister and brother attended. Middle school can be hard for any kid, and switching in the middle of a school year made it especially bad. Add to that the fact that I was kind of an odd kid. I was bullied and teased from the instant I walked in the door. I went to that school for 2 and a half years, and it was pretty much torture the entire time. <br /><br />I moved back to public school for 8th grade, which was the beginning of high school in Dekalb County at that time, and then we did move – so I changed schools AGAIN after the 1st quarter of 8th grade. I was still odd, I guess, and my self-confidence after the previous experience was pretty much non-existent so I was still an easy target.<br /><br />Fortunately for me, there were two places where I felt accepted and at home. I was baptized late – I was 11 (I call myself a bunk-bed Episcopalian instead of a cradle Episcopalian) – and we started attending St. Bede’s Church. That was the first place I felt at home. My dad and step-mother were really active – my dad directed the folk mass and was on the vestry – and my step-mother was involved in outreach activities. We had a strong youth program with great leaders, and since the kids were from a bunch of different schools, we all got along and had fun together. I hadn’t known God before, but He was definitely there at St. Bede’s. I felt His presence when I was there, and I felt loved and accepted and safe.<br /><br />The other place was right here at Camp Mikell. I was a camper here for 4 or 5 years, beginning when I was 12, and it was a sanctuary for me. People who have a history here will tell you about the “Mikell Magic” and it’s a real thing. From the people who ran the camp sessions, to the staff members, to the counselors – everyone was focused on making sure each camper found their place here. My first year I was loved and nurtured by people who had never met me – people who didn’t know I was a bit odd –and each subsequent year, they were excited to see me and made me feel like I was someone they were happy to know. <br /><br />Relationships with other campers were made quickly – necessary because the camp sessions are only a week long – and were really intense (in a good way). Camp Mikell was the first place I realized that friends could love each other – and that it was important to tell people you loved them. Because cell phones and Facebook hadn’t been invented yet, a lot of these relationships went dormant during the school year, but as soon as we returned here, it was as if no time had passed.<br /><br />You have probably heard of the Celtic concept of “Thin places” – places where heaven and earth seem to touch. For me, Camp Mikell was the thinnest place I knew. God was here all the time – giggling with us in the cabins, singing songs with us in the evening programs and hiking with us up to the cross. He was here with the staff members when they were comforting a home-sick camper, He was certainly here in the kitchen with the people who made the best food I’d ever had, and He was here in the beauty of this place. He was here with me, showing me that I was accepted and loved, and worthy of such acceptance and love. And based on what my daughter, Sara, has experienced here for the last 9 years, not much has changed.<br /><br />And now I have another home - St. Martin’s. Old habits die hard, and just because I’m a grown-up doesn’t mean I don’t have some residual feeling of not fitting in. But since the first time I walked in the door at our church, I’ve felt nothing but accepted and embraced. I knew I was home. I do a lot at St. Martins – partly because my parents set such a good example of service when I was growing up – but mostly because I want others to feel at home the way I feel at home. And because when we feel at home, maybe we are more apt to open our heart “home” to let Christ in. And when we let Christ in and follow his commandment to love others, we make those others feel at home and accepted. <br /><br />My hope for all of us is that when we leave this place, we will take the “welcome home” theme with us to our own lives, and especially back to our church family at St. Martins. And I also hope that we will remember the prayers for each room that we considered yesterday morning*, and remember that when we strive to include God in every room in our homes, both physical and spiritual, we receive blessings and we bless those we love.<br /><br />I want to leave you with something I read earlier this week. I don’t know who to attribute it to, but it says “Christ is the head of the home. The unseen guest at every meal. The silent listener to every conversation.” He’s always with us and we should nurture that, and take comfort in that, and fill our homes with His love.<br /><br />Amen.<br /><br />*We used prayers from “The Book of Occasional Services” Celebration for a Home (pg. 146-156).</i></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-86696889291368997282015-04-30T22:48:00.000-04:002015-04-30T22:49:09.973-04:00How's Your Mom?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrzIhykPtmj4x4bk3TOHowYs6GhPihRhStcbc8vinXWbIdLZ3ti32azdTaoJMsMEfYlJ3FuRWgaWGrNa3hyt8XI4OSn2-567-dSoJ9QhmiGUNleeV0CltG7j3wq_sgH9-Ju9FuzfX7lSY/s1600/Facebook-20150430-093912.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrzIhykPtmj4x4bk3TOHowYs6GhPihRhStcbc8vinXWbIdLZ3ti32azdTaoJMsMEfYlJ3FuRWgaWGrNa3hyt8XI4OSn2-567-dSoJ9QhmiGUNleeV0CltG7j3wq_sgH9-Ju9FuzfX7lSY/s1600/Facebook-20150430-093912.jpg" height="218" width="320" /></a></div>
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“How’s your mom?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I've been getting that question a lot in the last 18 months.
First she had blood clots and then, a year later, had to have her hip replaced.
Once she had the surgery and was healed and back home, we had a little respite,
but as the second half of last year unfolded, she lost some mobility, had
increased pain and just generally stopped being able to do much. She has sort
of folded in on herself. She’s more bent, more shuffly, much, much slower. The
last couple of months have included two hospitalizations and a month in a rehab
facility to work on strengthening her body. I expect that this shouldn't be a
surprise. I mean, people get old. But there are <i>old</i> people and <i>elderly</i>
people. Today I googled “how old is elderly?” and found an article on NPR.org from
March 14, 2013 that says “In the end, ‘elderly’ may be more a state of being –
or feeling – than a certain age.”<sup>1</sup> Mom was supposed to get old
without being elderly. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Mom was a force to be reckoned with when she was younger. She
was incredibly active and health-conscious, roller-bladeing around Atlanta and
working out at all hours of the day or night. She took a year off of work to
travel around the world – she spent time in Australia and China, she trekked in
Nepal, and I think she even rode an elephant in Indonesia. She eschewed
conventionality, read vociferously, honed her disrespect of authority to a fine
point, and just generally danced to her own music.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The damage to her hip is what did her in, I think. Prior to
that, she knew she had some degenerative disc issues, but she worked out at the
gym and remained active, and was able to keep herself flexible and pretty strong.
Once the pain of her hip overwhelmed her, she just couldn't do any of that any
more. The surgery to replace her hip certainly made things better for a while, but the months of inactivity allowed other pains and issues to
come to the forefront, and it’s been a constant battle for her since.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So the question “how’s your mom?” which used to be answered
by regaling the questioner with tales of Mom’s latest conquests, is now
answered using the previous day as a point of reference. “She’s much better
than she was yesterday.” Or, “She seems much weaker today than she was
yesterday.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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Mom is frustrated and scared. Mostly she’s scared that
she’ll have to live out her life in increasing pain. And scared that she won’t
be able to live independently any more. And, unfortunately, it looks as if both
of these fears are not unfounded. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The job my siblings and I have is to help Mom navigate this
new reality and help her to find hope. Of course, we also have to make sure
she’s taking her meds and eating right, and doing all those other things that
her caregivers tell her to do - which can tend to annoy her (see the comment
above about her feelings about authority). But that’s the price for having
children who love you I guess. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Besides worrying about Mom, the thing that keeps me up at
night is knowing that I need to take better care of myself. Mom’s story proves
that even the healthiest people are not promised an easy trip up to and through
their golden years, but I’m guessing that my chances will be better if I do the
things I know I should do. If I’m lucky, it’ll make life better for not only me,
but for my children as well. Because the fact of the matter is that at some
point I’ll probably have to depend on them the way my mother is depending on my siblings
and me. I hope they are kind and loving. And I hope I’m not a complete pain in
the arse.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><u>Update</u>:</b> So if you asked me “how’s your mom?” right
now, I’d tell you that she had a good day. We’re watching a movie that she can’t
really hear and I pause it every once in a while to tell her what’s going on.
And a little bit earlier tonight, while Mom was making her way through the
kitchen with her walker, my sweet Sara called her “Zippy.” It is important to
keep one’s sense of humor. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<sup>1</sup>http://www.npr.org/2013/03/12/174124992/an-age-old-problem-who-is-elderly<o:p></o:p></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-15036129109988416712015-04-03T17:21:00.000-04:002022-04-15T11:00:32.143-04:00What About Saturday?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq5ppXMhU6PqLgCcVNzg3izg2Icv_-Fa7JSnpGD5UxPJ3bpfLOvjCoismk89OmPR1loRib3A4f8JrPqk8DK5OD2ogn7KRgrn0SkuVNEiwBoUZ4n4-TfwXolyuoVUCoTct5HWLUgoHvEzo/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq5ppXMhU6PqLgCcVNzg3izg2Icv_-Fa7JSnpGD5UxPJ3bpfLOvjCoismk89OmPR1loRib3A4f8JrPqk8DK5OD2ogn7KRgrn0SkuVNEiwBoUZ4n4-TfwXolyuoVUCoTct5HWLUgoHvEzo/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
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Today is Good Friday. The day that Jesus was crucified. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Imagine the craziness of that day. Since the night before,
when Jesus was taken away, His followers were probably frantically trying to
find out what was going on while frantically trying to keep from being taken
themselves. They were human, after all, and I expect that their
self-preservation tendencies were pretty darn strong that day. Through what
passed for a trial, the whipping, the march to Golgotha, the night prior and
the early part of the day were packed with crowds, shouting, pain, and terror.
Then, all of a sudden, it was over.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what did their Saturday look like? We talk about Good
Friday, and we talk about Easter, but what about Saturday? The furor had died
down, it was the Sabbath so nothing could be done. And the disciples’ hopes and
dreams had to have been shattered. Here they had followed the one who they were
sure was the Messiah. They expected Him to be the king to finally defeat the
Romans and take back the lands that the Lord gave their ancestors. But instead,
he died. False prophets had come and gone, and now…was it possible that Jesus
was a false prophet as well? He wasn't supposed to die. He was supposed to rise
up and take over. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now what? I imagine that they huddled together somewhere
safe. Somewhere they wouldn't be found. All were grieving, all needed comfort,
but who would take that role? Because all were grieving, and all needed
comfort. And I imagine them in small groups, talking quietly to each other
about what they knew to be true, and what they questioned. I imagine there were
tears – both of grief and of disappointment. I imagine there might have been
arguments. But in the end they only had each other, so I imagine that by
evening, they clung to each other, shared a meal, and put the question of what
to do next aside for the time being. Maybe they remembered that Jesus told them
to love each other, and decided that whatever lay ahead, they should at least
do that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next day, of course, everything changed again. But oh,
that Saturday. What a dark, hopeless day that must have been.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m struggling with how to end this post. I don’t have any
wisdom to impart, I was just thinking about those poor disciples and needed to
write it down. But maybe we should take a little bit of time tomorrow to say a
prayer for anyone in our lives who might be experiencing pain or despair. Pray
that they might have an Easter coming soon to show them that there is light
after darkness. <o:p></o:p></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-38431141064183410942015-03-15T23:34:00.000-04:002015-03-16T09:40:49.887-04:00Doubts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnnCQLp-5og62mD-6QUP797ZaLr6-6kSEQoEsYYqznLFwSbtXAf8jOHp_tu1FS3bwUVUxBEQwjTuk8ZrZCKjRV3gzqB-rvOt69DjuHZS_YknyYG61FZa5hne3rD1tYUtyAodVM0_CZ86o/s1600/doubt+word+cloud.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnnCQLp-5og62mD-6QUP797ZaLr6-6kSEQoEsYYqznLFwSbtXAf8jOHp_tu1FS3bwUVUxBEQwjTuk8ZrZCKjRV3gzqB-rvOt69DjuHZS_YknyYG61FZa5hne3rD1tYUtyAodVM0_CZ86o/s1600/doubt+word+cloud.png" height="160" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This has been a week for doubts. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last Saturday night, my 79-year-old mother was taken via
ambulance to the emergency room. It’s an almost impossible admission to make to
myself, not to mention to the anyone who might read this, but I hadn’t
spoken to her in a couple of weeks – every day I’d think “I need to call Mom,”
but when that thought came to my mind, I was never in a place or time where I
could do it just then. And then I’d forget – only to remember when I was
lying in bed – much too late to call. Damn. Tomorrow I’ll do it… and repeat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So last Saturday comes, and Mom gets admitted to Northside.
She’s super weak and uncomfortable. Sunday she’s doing better – getting IV
antibiotics, some pain meds, and physical therapy. Monday things start to
deteriorate – shes confused and weaker, she can’t speak clearly and even when she does, she
can’t grab all of the words from her brain and put them out into the world. By
Thursday, she’s sleeping most of the day – they've done an MRI and we’re
waiting for the neurologist to come do an exam and tell us what it showed.
Because we’re waiting, and we need Mom to be alert enough for the exam, the
attending doctor doesn’t want to give Mom anything strong for pain. She’s
pissed – I mean really, furiously pissed– and we all have a terrible night. The
one good thing about that night was that Mom was pretty clear in her ability to
speak – the words were angry and accusing, but at least she could say them
without losing her train of thought.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the middle of that awful night, doubts flooded my brain. I tell
myself that I’m a terrible daughter. I beat myself up for not making it a
priority to talk to and see my mother on a much more regular basis. I’m
praying. Pleading for her pain to be relieved. But all I hear is Mom asking for
help. All I see is her face contorted in anger and pain. And I see my sister,
who is the one who always holds it together – the one who is best at the
business of figuring out what needs to be done – I see her break down. In the
middle of the night, we are, all three of us, broken and crying. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And where is God? I know that with a wave of His hand He could
fix all of this. So why wasn’t He waving his hand now? Why isn’t He answering
my pleading? Is He really here at all? Is He just here for other people? I know He answers other people’s prayers and gives them comfort – why not me? Is He
the God that created the world and then washed His hands of the whole mess?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now I’m not only a bad daughter, I’m a terrible person
for questioning the existence of the God . Oh – and add in the moment I snapped
at Mom’s nurse who had been wonderful all day, and I’m pretty sure I"m the most awful person you know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can tell me that I was under immense stress and all of
these doubts in the middle of the night are normal, understandable – maybe even
expected. And that went through my head that awful night, but it gave me no
peace. All I could see was doubt.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mom woke up Friday morning and was much more herself and has
gradually gotten better enough to be discharged to a rehab facility. She still
has moments of confusion, but overall, the light is showing at the end of the
tunnel. And for this I am immensely thankful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what happens next? I still feel terrible about the kind
of daughter I allowed myself to become. And I still wonder where God was that
night. The first issue is pretty easily fixed because in spite of what my
neglect might look like to others, I love my mother with all of my heart. I won’t allow
myself to fall into such self-absorption again. My siblings deserve a better partner
in the care of our mother. And most importantly, she deserves better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The solution to the second issue is less obvious. But, as I
have told the kids in my Sunday School class many times, faith waxes and wanes. And I tell them that’s normal - even human, because I truly believe that it is. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Continuing to say the
words of our corporate prayers helps. Because as I say them I remember what they have meant to me. And as
hard as it might be to admit, maybe it’s not up to God to show Himself to me,
but for me to open myself to Him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-91723448210123018152015-03-03T09:54:00.000-05:002015-03-03T09:54:34.240-05:00Good Enough?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTqd5pF6FbPTLAdcxxIYfOFuzaa-WPgvWP2QbBG04hj2hm10yu_PVSBN4xwruWebIjd7MzEa3NRiamwq052zuN3PYTf24MxEHHGsv7b6JC2qWpO8reJyCUIF6LgSG9KULopr3JIq1ROeo/s1600/potter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTqd5pF6FbPTLAdcxxIYfOFuzaa-WPgvWP2QbBG04hj2hm10yu_PVSBN4xwruWebIjd7MzEa3NRiamwq052zuN3PYTf24MxEHHGsv7b6JC2qWpO8reJyCUIF6LgSG9KULopr3JIq1ROeo/s1600/potter.jpg" height="231" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you good enough? Am I good enough? What exactly is good
enough? Is anybody good enough?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These questions settled hard on my soul. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have lots of teenagers in my life – delightful, smart,
caring, questioning, interesting teenagers who are probably struggling with
questions like this all the time. I certainly did when I was a teenager.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I want these young people to know, more than anything,
is that you are all good enough. Good enough for your schools, good enough for your
families, and, most importantly, good enough for God. No matter what your
questions are. No matter where your faith lies in the ever-shifting landscape
of a teenager’s heart and mind, <b>YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOD.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My favorite bible verse is Ephesians 2:10 which says “For we
are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God
prepared in advance for us to do.” Some translations use the word “masterpiece”
too. I like it either way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Isn’t that beautiful? We are all works of art, created by
the Master Craftsman himself. And you, my beloved students and friends, are
each a masterpiece, created by and good enough for God. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t let anyone tell
you otherwise.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106460265141367473.post-5100994431760354622015-02-27T12:24:00.001-05:002015-02-27T12:24:19.564-05:00A Letter to My Daughter As She Prepares to Graduate from High School<div class="MsoNormal">
There are some things I want you to know. I've been composing
this letter in my head for the last week or two, and I decided to write it
down. I’m a little bit scared that you’ll be mad or upset at some of this, that
you’ll take it wrong somehow, so please read it knowing that it comes from deep
in my heart. Because I love you more
than you will ever know –always remember that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>1.</b> <b style="text-indent: -24px;">You’re beautiful – love yourself.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
I know you think that I’m just saying this
because I’m your mother so of course I</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
think you’re beautiful. But I promise
there’s more to it than that. You are beautiful.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<b>2.</b> <b style="text-indent: -24px;">Your body is what it is. Stop wishing you were something different and work </b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<b style="text-indent: -24px;"> with what you </b><b style="text-indent: -24px;">have.</b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal;"> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
This is important for you to know because
as you get older, it gets harder to lose</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
weight and keep yourself in shape –
just look at me. You are building good, </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
healthy habits now and I want you to keep up with them. At the same time, learn to </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
love your body (see #1 above).
You have more curves than you’d like – this does not</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
make you less beautiful.
Thigh gaps and bony hip bones are pipe dreams and <b>you </b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<b> would not be more beautiful than you are now</b> if you had them
(see #1 above). </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
Love yourself, curves
and all. Be healthy.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<b style="text-indent: -24px;">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -24px;">It takes hard work to make things happen.</b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<b style="text-indent: -24px;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p> </o:p>You have seen the benefit of hard work, and
you have been really proud of yourself </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
when your hard work has paid off. But
sometimes you either give up too easily, or </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
you just take the easiest way out –
traits I’m afraid you got from me. Fight against </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
your tendency to do this. If
you look at the people you admire, especially in the music</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
world, you’ll see
people who struggled for years before “making it.” And even if they </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
didn't
struggle for years, they are pushing themselves every day. The people who </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
make
it look easy are the ones who worked the hardest. Take advantage of the </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
things that come easy to you, but don’t settle for just the easy things. Work at the </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
easy things to make them seem flawless. Work to get better at the hard things too.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p><b style="text-indent: -24px;">4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -24px;">Be kind.</b></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p><b style="text-indent: -24px;"><br /></b></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
People matter. And people’s feelings
matter. I’m not saying that you should let </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
yourself be taken advantage of. And
I’m not saying that it’s not okay to feel what </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
you feel. I’m saying that it’s important to consider the impact that your words and </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
actions have on other
people.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p><b style="text-indent: -24px;">5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -24px;">You have an amazing talent.</b> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
Your voice is spectacular, and I believe
that you could probably play any instrument </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
you wanted to, if you put your mind
to it (see #3 above). Don’t ever stop singing. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
Whatever song you are singing is
my favorite song to hear. Plus you’re a really </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
good writer. Keep doing that
too. Oh – and you’re one of the funniest people I know. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
Keep that up as well.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
Most
importantly, know that you have a full and wonderful life ahead of you. I know
that you worry about the future. But remember that you are smart and talented,
and even if you take the wrong path every now and again, it’s always possible
to change course. You won’t do everything right – no one ever does – but you
are a good person. You are caring and funny and sweet, and the people who love
you will always help when you need it. Especially me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
I
love you,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
Mommy</div>
Life in the Balconyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10569123766642568526noreply@blogger.com1