Prayer Requests

A dear friend sent me a text today, asking for prayers for a family member who is having some health issues. Now, I believe in the power of prayer. I know of an instance where a very powerful prayer warrior got his prayer circle together – probably circling the entire United States, if not the world – and prayed a brain tumor to change colors so that the surgeons could tell the difference between tumor and brain tissue. I myself have had some remarkable, life-changing things happen in response to prayer. But while I know that prayers for her family are in order, I’m not sure that’s what my friend really needed.

I think that she might have just needed some encouragement. Someone who loves her to say, “I totally understand why life sucks right now.” Or, “Gosh, you’ve worked so hard forever, and you’re one of the best people I know. This just isn’t fair.” Or maybe even “You sound like you need a break—how can I help?” But it’s usually easier to ask for a prayer than an ear.

We don’t like to complain. Someone always has it worse than we do, and it feels wrong to bitch about the fact that your house is a mess because no one will clean it but you; or that the mortgage is going to be late again because the power bill was higher than expected; or that a family member is sick and you’re worried, of course, but it’s really hard to get your own stuff done because you have to take care of him/her. Saying any of that out loud feels petty and whiny. Even the big stuff like major illnesses or job losses or *add your own big thing here* can sound bad. This is especially true in the era of Facebook and Instagram, where we put forth our shiny, happy, selves and only rarely expose the painful, dark side of our own lives. Showing the darker side makes us look weak and desperate for affirmation.

But let’s give ourselves permission to text, or better yet, call a friend and say “Man. This really crappy thing just happened and I need to vent. I need someone who loves me to listen to me without judgment. I need some encouragement.”

I hardly ever give myself permission to do that. I’m supposed to be the positive one. And I’m sure my stupid issues are nothing compared to someone else’s problems. So, I’ll just keep it inside. My blood pressure is up, I’m not sleeping well, and I’m angry all the time, but I’m definitely NOT going to bother anyone else with my stupid problems lest I sound like the whiner I believe I am.

So, my friend (I know you know I’m talking to you), I will pray. In fact, I’ll pray for your whole family. But mostly I’ll pray for you and that you know that all you need to do is pick up the phone and text or call. You can count on me to answer, and to commiserate, and mostly to understand. Because I love you. And I know you’ll do the same for me.