We drove down yesterday. Sara and Rick were in one car. Hannah, Spike (beloved diabetic cat), Bella (beloved dog with heart issues) and me in the other. Bella was very excited to be going with us. She is always sad when we leave her, and when she saw me putting her doggie car seat in the car, she jumped in and wouldn’t get out. She stayed in there a good hour before we left.
By the time we got to the beach house, Bella was obviously not breathing well. About twenty minutes after we got here, my sweet puppy died.
And now, today, my mom fell out of her bed and is being taken to the ER for x-rays. It would be a drag for Mother’s Day anyway, but with me being seven hours away, it’s worse. She’s probably okay – she really didn’t want to go to the hospital, but agreed to go, “just in case.” My brother, who lives in Knoxville, will be down there if there are any major issues, and my amazing neighbor is going to go over to St. Joe’s to check on Mom. But still…
So, I have lots of reasons to be sad and anxious today, which makes it the perfect day to find reasons to be joyful.
I’m not saying I shouldn’t feel the feelings. Every hour or so I’m washed over with sadness about Bella, and that’s a good thing. Feeling sad means I loved her, and I want to honor that. And it’s okay to be anxious about my mother. But I can’t let these feelings overwhelm me to the point that I can’t find joy.
So, here’s a list of things that I’m joyful about:
That I’m in a beautiful place with my family
That the sun is shining
That Anthony will be here in a couple of days, completing the family unit
That we all get along so well
That there are love bugs all over the deck…well – making love, apparently
That Spike is asleep on the ottoman
That I have a job that I absolutely love
That I have really wonderful friends
That I got to eat a croissant today
That I have a church that feeds my soul
There are more. But this is a good start.
RIP sweet girl