The Kids Are All Right Part 1

Imagine that I’m sitting at my kitchen table, looking out the open window. I am taking in the pastoral view of 18 sheep and goats munching on what’s left of the ivy. I can hear their soft bleating and the bells that a few of them have around their necks. The livestock will be in our yard until they are done with the ivy – probably another day or so.


These ruminants have provided much lively conversation fodder over the past week, but they have also provided some surprising moments of activity.

We went to a barbecue on Saturday night and got home around ten. I was in the bedroom changing my clothes when I heard Rick call out “Maryann, we have a problem!” I came into the kitchen to see a little white goat on our back deck! As we opened the door, the little gal went back down the steps and started munching on some ivy that was in front of the electric fence that was supposed to keep them contained and away from the azaleas (which apparently makes them sick – who knew there was something that goats can’t eat!). Fortunately, this goat is not scared of people, and I was able to put a leash around her neck and coax her back onto the deck where I could keep her captive until the owners came to unceremoniously drop her back over the fence and fix the place where she got through. Crisis averted!

         (Here is Sara, telling the goat where exactly she was supposed to be)

On Sunday afternoon, Rick and I were sitting on the patio looking at the almost cleared strip of back yard and talking about what we were going to do with the space now that the ivy is gone. I was pointing to the far corner of the yard when I noticed the back end of a goat (the same white one we had encountered the night before) disappearing through a hole in the wooden fence that separates our yard from our next door neighbor’s yard. Well, heck! One of the fence slats had rotted and the goats had pushed it away, anticipating more delicious foliage on the other side!

I ran over to the neighbor’s yard (they weren’t home at the time) and began what I can only describe as goat-herding, or maybe a goat rodeo, which consisted of my pushing an unwilling goat through the small space and then trying to keep that one from coming back through while trying to grab another goat to push it through. Our back yard neighbors, who will get the goats once we’re through with them, came over to help encourage the more skittish ones to get close enough to me for me to push them through. All the while, the largest goat, whose name is Spike, kept coming back through the hole. Spike is actually a very friendly goat, so he was easy to catch again, but he’s so big it was hard to push him back in the other direction, especially when there was so much for him to munch on in the neighbor’s yard. The grass (or bush) is always greener on the other side indeed!

Rick was on the phone with the owners – giving them a play-by-play – and fortunately they didn’t have to come back to the house to help. Thank God for Brad and Heather, who came to our rescue with brute strength, patience and a drill to fix the fence post!

When I got up this morning, I took a careful count and found all of the animals accounted for. Who knew we’d have such excitement on a fine Sunday afternoon in suburbia?

Happy Birthday Hannah-Bird!

In honor of Hannah’s birthday today, I thought I’d list the top ten songs that remind me of her and why.
1. “Mustang Sally” – The Commitments Soundtrack. I got the soundtrack from the movie The Commitments when I was pregnant with Hannah and listened to it all the time in the car. After Hannah was born, she was a bit fussy for a while (translate to “she screamed for 12 hours a day for 11 ½ weeks”). One of the tricks to get her to stop crying was to play Mustang Sally, which is the first song on the disk. At the first note she’d stop crying, and she’d usually be asleep by the middle of the song. I didn’t use this trick more than once a day though – I didn’t want her to catch on!
2. “St. Judy’s Comet” – written by Paul Simon for his son, but this version is from Kenny Loggins’ wonderful lullaby disk, Return to Pooh Corner. Hannah probably doesn’t really remember this song, but I played the disk every night when I rocked her before putting her to bed and this is my favorite song on the disk. Even if she was asleep, I’d keep snuggling her until this song was over.
3. “Sweet Baby James” – James Taylor – specifically the version that’s on the live disk. When she was around 3, we listened to that disk in the car all the time, and “Sweet Baby James” is the first song. That summer we took Hannah to see James Taylor in concert at Merriweather Post Pavilion near Baltimore. She expected that the concert would be exactly like the disk – everything in the same order, and when JT didn’t sing “Sweet Baby James” she was not happy. Thank God he sang it as an encore – I was about to crash the stage and let him know that he HAD to play it or my baby would be heartbroken!
4. “Whale of a Tale” from the Disney Collection. There’s a verse in this song that goes:

“Then there was Harpoon Hannah

Had a look that spelled out danger

My heart quivered when she whispered,

"I'm there, stranger"

Bought her trinkets

That sailors can't afford

(Sailors can't afford)

And when I spent my last red cent

She tossed me overboard! “

Rick and Hannah used to listen to this all the time. She loved that the song was about her and that she tossed the poor sailor overboard!

5. “Get Out Of Bed” – I honestly can’t remember where this song came from, but it was on some kids disk that we used to listen to a lot. When Hannah was in high school and I couldn’t get her to get up I’d sing this song to her, very loudly. Sometimes I’d even try to get her to join in on the chorus. She HATED this, but generally it would convince her to get up. If she didn’t, I’d just keep singing!

6. “The Song of the Sabu” and “I Love My Lips” – from Silly Songs with Larry on a Veggietales disk. (Okay, technically not one song, but let’s just go with it.) We used to listen to these in the car, at home – basically anywhere there was a CD player. These two were particular favorites of Hannah’s. Another one is the “Water Buffalo Song”, which was a favorite the summer my younger brother, Michael, lived with us. He recorded her making up songs – actually one long song – and it was all about a water buffalo. He presented her with a disk from the recording session as a graduation present – it’s awesome!

7. “Two Feet of Topsoil” – Brad Paisley. This is a great country song describing how low a man is after his girl left him.

“Well, there’s two feet of topsoil

A little bit of bedrock

Limestone underneath

A fossilized dinosaur

A little patch of crude oil

A thousand feet of granite underneath…

And then there’s me”

One afternoon, Hannah came home from school and told me that she used the lyrics of the song to answer a question about the layers of the earth on an earth science test. How’s that for proving music helps with school?

8. I’ll lump the songs that make Hannah dance in the car together: “Hoe Down Throw Down” by Hannah Montana, “Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake, anything upbeat by Justin Bieber. She gets her grove on, let me tell you! It’s fun to watch!

9. “Gaucho” – Steely Dan. I have to add this one in there because Hannah HATES Steely Dan. We were on our way to Knoxville to see my brother and this song came on. Not only does she dislike Donald Fagan’s voice, she thought the words were stupid, so we blasted it. Karma does hit though – the song was stuck in my head for at least a month and would not go away.

10. “There Goes My Life” – Kenny Chesney. This is a sappy one, I know. As I was following Rick and Hannah downtown to move her into her dorm last year I had my iPod on shuffle and this song came on. I cried. “Nuff said.

So those are the top 10. Hannah – I love you more than you’ll ever know. Every year you get better and better, and I can’t wait to see what the next one will bring for you. Have a happy birthday!!!

Honerable Mentions:  "Twilight" from Shawn Colvin's Cover Girl album - there's a line that says "Don't leave me alone in the twilight" and Hannah wanted to know why someone was leaving her alone in the toilet.  Also " Band on the Run" - which Hannah, Sara and Rick have revsied to "Ham on a Bun."

Happy Birthday Sara!

Welcome to the Lozano household in Baltimore, MD.  The date is September 11, 1996 and the time is around 8:00 pm. The evening is scheduled to be a busy one - the house is a disaster and we have family coming in the next day.  Rick's parents are coming to stay with Hannah on Friday while Rick, my mother and I go to the hospital to have a baby. I was scheduled to be induced.

Rick has made a wonderful dinner - perfectly grilled steak, steamed green beans and garlic mashed potatoes.

It's warm, so I get up after a couple of bites to change into shorts.  As I walk down the hall...well... the baby decides she's coming tonight.  A flurry of activity starts - phone calls, laundry thrown into the closet, sheets changed on the bed.  Hannah finds out what's going on and she's MAD - the baby coming tonight was NOT in her plans.

Baby comes, she is cute, she is loved...

Move forward in time 15 years.  Now I don't have a baby any more.  And Sara doesn't even look anything like she did when she was a baby (see the pictures above).  But what a magnificent young lady she is!

When Sara was a toddler she didn't know a stranger. She was gregarious, loving and even compassionate.  When she was 2 1/2, she went to pre-school and would comfort the other kids who were crying when their parents left.  The early summers were filled with her wandering around the pool hugging people - some she knew, some she didn't!

At 15, she's still gregarious, loving and compassionate.  Her hugs are about the best ones anyone could ever experience, and she gives them freely to those she loves. She's really funny too - and very smart. My favorite thing about her (besides everything else) is her musical talent.  Not only is she a talented violinist, that girl has a voice!  Oh - and you remember how mad Hannah was?  Well now they're best friends.  I love watching them together - the two most beautiful girls in the world!

Today is bittersweet for me.  I'm so proud of my girl - but every year is a year closer to her making her own way in the world.  Soon she'll be able to drive. In the not too distant future she'll be off to college.  I can't imagine a house without her shining presence in it, but I'm so excited to watch her grow into the awesome young woman she's turning into.  She has a bright future - mark my words.

So Happy Birthday, Sara.  I love you more than you'll ever know!

Thin Places

I recently returned from a 9-day pilgrimage to England with a group of 16 teenagers from our church. Before I left, I wondered if I’d need a vacation after I got back – keeping 16 teenagers in line can be a daunting task, but these particular teenagers were wonderful traveling companions and exceeded all of my expectations. I had known most of these young people for at least two years, and lead their Sunday School class for that time, but I got the opportunity to learn much more about who each one of them is – and they’re all pretty amazing.

We were blessed to have a guide, Molly Wren, from a company called Wonder Voyage, who took care of all of the logistics of the trip, as well as much of the spiritual leadership. Having someone there who had taken care of where we’d stay, what and when we’d eat and where we’d go every day freed the leaders to not only focus on the kids, but also to have our own spiritual journeys. One of the many things I really like about Molly is that she speaks to God and about God in ways that the kids aren’t necessarily used to. We’re Episcopalians, after all, and sometimes I think we get bogged down in the “corporate” prayers and don’t focus on praying in our own way. She set a great example for them as well as me about how one might maintain a very personal relationship with God.  She’s also a massive prayer warrior, and if I ever needed someone to be on my side for a particular prayer need, she’s the first one I’d call on.

One evening, at our usual meeting with the kids about our day, Molly brought up the Celtic tradition of “thin places”, which are places “that give us an opening into the magnificence and wonder of [God’s] presence” (copied from an article on explorefaith.com by Sylvia Maddox). While the entirety of the trip was magnificent, there are a few specific instances of “thin places” that keep coming back to mind.

We flew in overnight on Saturday night and spent a good portion of the day Sunday traveling to Canterbury and getting settled into the hostel. Monday morning, we walked to Canterbury Cathedral – the seat of the Anglican Church from which our church evolved – and attended a Eucharist service in the Crypt, which dates back to the 11th century and is the oldest existing part of the Cathedral. There were about 20 or so other people there, and many of them were seminary students from mostly Africa who had attended a conference at the Cathedral the previous weekend. The real goosebumps came when we were invited to recite the Lord’s Prayer, each in our own language. It’s so easy to forget that there is a vast world out there, but hearing the different tongues opened my mind to the wonderful fact that God is bigger than each of us would make Him. And hearing that familiar service spoken with a British accent was a delight that we experienced several times throughout the trip!

The next day we traveled to the White Cliffs of Dover and hiked to the lighthouse – about four miles round-trip. God blessed us with wonderful weather that day, and the exertion of the hike, the beauty of the surroundings and the individual and small-group conversations I got to have with many of the kids made the day for me. We sat in a field and ate our lunches and wrote in our journals, and took in the loveliness of creation. It was stunning and peaceful.

The last day was a Sunday, and we were in London by then. We attended mass at St. Martin in the Fields, London, which is a beautiful church with an awesome choir. On this particular day, many of the choir members were absent, but the remaining ones sounded amazing without them. As the choir was walking out and singing the final hymn at the end of the service, a bird fluttered in front of the massive glass window above the altar. I know it was probably a pigeon, but the shadow could just have easily been a dove sent from God, and the combination of the beautiful music and the bird gave me chills. I know a few of my travel companions saw it too, and they had the same reaction.

In the interest of time, I’ve only mentioned a few places that were “thin” for me. We visited Westminster Abbey and the British Museum, climbed about a billion steps to the very top of St. Paul's Cathedral, we saw a show, a 90 year-old friar and the Crown Jewels - it was a trip packed with once-in-a-lifetime experiences. These experiences, combimed with my time with the other leaders, Bill, Carrie, David and Molly, and with the kids on an individual and group basis made it the most fulfilling spiritual experience of my life.

Once home, I was filled with the notion that what I’m called to do is to continue working with young people, teens especially, and help find a way to open their eyes to God’s wonder and promise. To be a mentor , friend and teacher in whatever capacity I can be. As I explore this calling, I’d appreciate your prayers and encouragement. I don’t know where it will lead me, but I know that God does, and that’s enough for now.

Happy Birthday Phillip!

I was trying to decide what to write for my brother Phillip who is celebrating his birthday today. First, I thought I might talk about the time he and his friends were jumping off the hood of my father’s Valiant and I decided to jump off as well and landed on my face. But when I reminded Phillip of this story, he sheepishly said “Um…Maryann…I don’t think you jumped.” So that wouldn’t be a very nice story would it?

Then I thought I might tell the story of the day he trashed Carole’s room and I got in trouble for it. He didn’t admit this until about 15 years ago, but telling that story would sort of sound like sour grapes, wouldn’t it?

Phillip and I fought like cats and dogs all through our childhood. Carole tells the story of the three of us in the back of our Volkswagon van – Carole in between Phillip and me – and the two of us shooting birds at each other. Two handed birds, I might mention – we really meant it!

Then Phillip left for college. I cried like a baby. And he’s been pretty much my favorite person ever since.

My favorite memory of my teen-age years was the summer Phillip and I drove together up to Nags Head, NC for a family reunion. We listened to music all the way up there, and talked, and when we got close to the conference center, we thought we were lost. We stopped at a phone booth and called, and it turned out that we were right across the street from where we were supposed to be. We could see everyone waving at us (and laughing probably). It was probably the first time we had spent an extended amount of time together without fighting, and it was delightful.

These days, Phillip is living in Knoxville, and I don’t get to see him nearly enough. He has three amazing daughters, who I love very much, and a wonderful wife who I love as well. Phillip’s probably the smartest person I know, and probably also the funniest person I know. Here’s wishing him the best birthday ever.

I love you Phillip – you’re the best big brother anyone could ever ask for – in spite of the plastic ants on top of my jello salad!

I’m a big fan of Facebook. Like many people of my generation, Facebook has allowed me to reconnect with many people from my childhood – my very best friend from elementary school as well as people that I went to high school with. I’m always delighted when I get a friend request from someone I haven’t heard from in a while.

Recently I got a friend request from someone whose name sounded familiar, so I accepted it. When I went to her info, I realized that I have no idea who she is. She’s originally from North Dakota – I do know three people from North Dakota, which I think is some kind of record – but not her. She lives in Seaford, Delaware now, and of course we know people from Delaware (Rick hails from there), but as far as I know, she’s not on the list. Be that as it may, she sent me a message a few days ago asking me to take a look at a note she posted in response to someone who doesn’t believe in the existence of God.

In her defense of the existence of God, she says that the evidence is overwhelming and goes on to say that the heavens declare the glory of God, that the person’s very existence is evidence of God. As I was reading this, it struck me that if I were the person who doubted, this argument would not have convinced me. If I don’t believe in God, the beauty of life – flowers that bloom in glorious colors, the wondrous stars that shine in the sky, the amazing miracle of birth – is just a beautiful coincidence.

A few years ago, I read A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. Mr. Bryson wrote this wonderful book in an effort to understand the questions we have posed about the universe and ourselves, from the Big Bang theory to the rise of civilization and pretty much everything in between. The website says “Bryson seeks to understand how we got from there being nothing at all to there being us.” He has sections about Geology, Archeology, Botany, Astronomy – all the sciences that provide information and theories about how life started and how it has changed. Some people might take this scientific information as proof that God does not exist. I, on the other hand, continued to be amazed at God’s creation as I read.

It is difficult for me to believe that something so ordered and exact could be a happy fluke. Take the creation of a baby, for example. That a wiggly tadpole-looking thing knows to swim to the right place and knows what to do when it gets there pretty fascinating. But the explosion that happens when it meets its mark is nothing short of amazing. And that that explosion ends up looking like a little human is a wonder. And that that little body, which has owed its existence up to birth to a cord tied to its mommy, knows to open up its mouth and take a breath – well that’s just a miracle, and evidence to me of God’s great creation. It’s too intentional to be a fluke – at least to my mind.

And let’s talk about the ties that the oceans have to the moon. In simplistic terms (by way of Google), the moon and the earth are attracted to each other just like magnets. The moon tries to move the stuff on the earth closer to it, but the earth can hold onto everything except the water, because the water is always moving. There are two low tides and two high tides in most places every day. In my mind, this process is too orderly to be a coincidence – I see God’s hand here, creating the gravitational pull between the two masses, moving His arms like a conductor as He moves the seas to and away from the earth.

As a final thought, I’ll put some lyrics from one of my favorite songs, “Poetry” by Pat Green. This sums up my feelings. And I don’t kid myself that my musings here would turn someone’s doubts to belief, but maybe it would give cause for pause?

“Now, somebody made everything
From the soul inside out to Saturn's rings
How my baby smiles and how Ray Charles sings
Of course we were created.
The clouds make rain, the ocean makes sand
The earth breathes fire, and lava makes land
Now that took a mighty hand
And a wild imagination”

Of course we were created!

What Makes You Feel Safe?

Last night, we had terrible storms across Georgia. Hannah was downtown at school and I told her that she either needed to come home right then, or make the decision to stay downtown for the night. To my immense relief, she decided to come home, and I felt safer once she walked in the door. I also felt safer once I had found Jenny the Extra Cat and gotten her inside.

Tonight when I was walking the dog, a police officer drove into the neighborhood and stopped to talk to me for a minute. This was Officer McBride, who patrols our neighborhood every week, has joined our neighborhood online forum and makes helpful posts and has even given us his phone number in case we have questions. I had never met him before, but I had certainly heard of him and read his posts. A few nights ago, Hannah and I were walking and another officer stopped to talk to us. While we may not see a complete cessation of crime in our neighborhood, I feel safer knowing that members of the Dekalb County Police Department take a personal interest in our neighborhood, and have taken the time to get to know the neighbors.

I was on an airplane a couple of weeks ago, landing in the middle of a strong thunderstorm. I honestly wondered if I was going to die. I didn't feel safe at all, at least until we were completely on the ground and the doors of the plane opened. I did a lot of praying during that landing, and I'd love to be able to say that knowing that God was there with me made me feel safer. But my complete and total fear obscured any peace that I might have felt. Kind of like how the disciples in the storm-tossed boat must have felt while Jesus slept, I suppose.

But I'm lucky, as are most of the people I know. We live in a country that isn't torn by violent internal political strife. While I'm not wealthy, I have enough to feed and clothe my family, and to keep a roof over our heads while we watch television shows on AT&T U-Verse. So, all things considered, I'm safe. And I'm thankful. And next time I'm on a storm-tossed plane, maybe I'll remember that God really is with me and I should have some faith!